Thursday, February 27, 2014

Planning Spring Break with Brock and Johi

I'm laughing at the title of this post right now. Planning a vacation?

That's so cute.
Sometimes I'm delusional.

About two months ago I said to Brock, "We need to start taking family vacations. All the boys know is that mom and dad fix up the house and drink red wine from a box while sitting on the couch. I want them to SEE something new. I want to take them somewhere they've never been! Like a beach! Plus, I would love to just chill out somewhere warm and quiet for spring break. Like a beach! What I'm saying is that I want to go to the beach!"

Brock said, "We can't afford tickets to DisneyWorld."

I said, ".... I didn't say anything about a theme park, nor did I mention DisneyWorld. I said a beach."

Brock said, "But if we fly to Florida, we should take the kids to DisneyWorld."

I said, "I didn't once mention Florida. I just want to go somewhere and read while the kids build sandcastles. There are beaches all over! And closer than Florida. I'm thinking an inexpensive and secluded. Plus I have points with Frontier that need to be used by March."

Brock said, "I'll look into it."

I raised my eyebrows, laughed to myself and started making dinner.

Three weeks later, Brock came home with a pamphlet from a travel agent. In that moment, I was reminded of our ten year age gap. Who the hell still uses travel agents? A man who's favorite show plays in black and white on Encore Westerns Channel, that's who.

The brochure was for Mexico.

Spring break was now less than two months away.

I was coming to terms that the beach was probably not happening this year. So I said, "What about if we scrap my silly 'warm sand' idea and simply take the kids on the train to Glenwood Springs? They would love a train ride and we could sit in the hot springs. It's no beach, but it would be warmish."

Brock said, "I'll look into it."

Spring break is now less than three weeks away. He has not "looked into it." No tickets have been purchased. No plans have been made. I'd wager that Brock doesn't even remember the conversation. My future is clear: No one is going anywhere. EVER. If I want to dig my toes in the sand, I'm going to have to scoop the cat shit from the sandbox first. If I want to channel the train and Glenwood Springs, I'll need to take Thomas the Tank Engine in the bathtub with me. I looked at the Frontier deals. Right now I can almost afford a single one-way ticket to Sioux City, Iowa. Yippee. Which one of us will volunteer as tribute for that?

I sighed and picked up the phone for some planning of my own. TIME TO TAKE THE WHEEL!
After spending the morning organizing my shit and carrying out tasks, I now have secured a time for my yearly cave doctor visit and also snagged an appointment with the dermatologist so we can have a riveting discussion about my adult acne. WHEEEEEEEE!

Spring Break is almost here. We are always here. So are the lingering projects and the wine... which won't drink itself.

What are your plans for spring break?


  1. Well Mexico can be waaaaay cheaper than Disney World! You don't have to go to Cancun, there are tons of amazing beaches in way cheaper locales. I'd check out the surfing beaches in Oaxaca if you want to plan something. Also ... spring break in a tourist destination in Mexico is probably never a good idea haha.

  2. Here I'll plan your vacation.