Thursday, February 20, 2014

For My Birthday, I'm Giving You a Gift!

Don't panic! My birthday isn't until tomorrow, so you still have one day to shop. WHEW!

Today, however, is all about my readers!

The stunning Freda from the Grand Junction, Colorado Old Navy is giving a beautiful scarf to one lucky reader! In honor of my love of springtime, this scarf boasts beautiful flowers in shades of red, purple and yellow. It also includes a lot of my favorite color: GREEN.

Oh, how I love things that are green. Specifically because it means that winter is over and I most likely have a normal amount of Vitamin D in my body, a beer in my hand and a tan.

I know what you're thinking, "But Johi, it's YOUR birthday tomorrow. We should all be honoring you with gifts, parades, strippers and such."

Never fear, I'm here to provide with a list of birthday ideas.

Johi's "I'm Not 40 Yet, Bitches" Birthday Wish List:

1. New feet, so I don't have to wear fugly shoes.

2. A savings account with more than $7 in it. Make that $6.45.

3. A spacious addition to my tiny house, more land for my critters, and a barn. A big one.

4. A North American Bird book. I'm serious. I'm trying to educate myself and my kids. And let's face it, I'm getting old and old people bird watch. I probably need binoculars, too.

5. A book on how to prune fruit trees, specifically apple trees. Specifically the one in my backyard, that has never been pruned. Actually, scratch that. Just send over a strapping, attractive man with knowledge of fruit trees, a ladder and a pair of pruning sheers. I'll provided the lemonade.

6. A hamper that is visible to the male species.

7. An all-expenses paid, girls only weekend in Napa Valley for me and three of my closest friends.

8. A book deal, with one year's (fairly extravagant) living expenses paid up front.

9. A wine-of-the-month membership.

10. A spa day-of-the-month membership.

I think that I have provided you with ten very attainable gift ideas. You're welcome!

Make sure and enter the scarf giveaway! I'll be selecting a winner over the weekend. Good Luck!

Peace, Love and Unicorns,


a Rafflecopter giveaway


  1. if someone finds you #6, find out where they bought it. I could use one too

  2. Regarding Number 4 (the bird book)....I have a very good friend down in Texas, Bob Zeller, who's an avid birder and nationally renowned photographer. His blog is "Texas Tweeties" and here's the URL: The blog features Bob's photographs of the huge number of birds that live or travel in his area. I think it would be a site that you and your family will really enjoy. Bob also has a book of his photos. If you are interested look for an "Order Book" button or some such or even leave a comment and Bob will answer you back pretty quickly.

    Happy Birthday!

    Fearless Leader

    1. I'll check it out! As soon as my computer decides to work again. 😖

  3. We men like are hampers big. Some people call them houses. A girley man may toss his clothes in one room of said hamper. Happy birthday.

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  6. Happy Birthday!! I would also love a spa day a month!!

  7. Happy Birthday. Hope you are able to obtain some of those wants and needs on your list!

  8. For your birthday, we'd like to invite you to become one of our Authors in Alexandria. I would have invited you on your actual birthday, but, uh, I was busy. This invitation has been extended to you by email as well.

    In addition to posting on anything you wish, as you desire, you may of course mirror posts you've already written from here or elsewhere to gain a different or additional audience or for any other reason that appeals to you, including promoting your books or any other creative endeavors.

    If you think you might be interested, contact me through Alexandria or by return email via this comment and I'll forward our formal invitations for you to look over and return if you decide to proceed.

    Come contribute your perspectives and opinions to the ongoing conversations there or, even better, start some new - and different - ones of your own.

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    H. M. Stuart