Thursday, October 3, 2013

The No Machine

All day, every day, the children asked me to do things for them. All day, every day, I did things for them. And then it started.... the request to watch Heffalump Halloween

This request is not unfamiliar to me. In fact, we have daily conversations about Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie. Have you seen it? It is super cute... the first 27 times.

Thing 2 asked me, in his adorable, tiny voice, "Mommy, can I watch Heffalump Halloween?"
I looked at his cherubic face with those big blue eyes, smiled and replied, "No."

Three entire seconds passed, then he asked again, "Mommy, can I watch Heffalump Halloween?"
I looked at my angel, and again replied, "No."

Then he tried a third time, "Mommy, can I watch Heffalump Halloween?"
This time I replied, "I am The No Machine. Any question you ask me will be answered with no."

Thing 1 giggled. Thing 2 blinked those big eyes. Then, with an ornery look on my face, I tempted them both by saying, "Try me."
Thing 2, ever the persistent one, started up immediately, "Mommy, can I watch Heffalump Halloween?"
The No Machine said, "NO."

I looked at Thing 1. "Go ahead. Ask me a question."
He looked at me and asked the other question I hear 45 times per day, "Can I have a popsicle?"
The No Machine said, "NO."

I raised my eyebrows and looked back at Thing 2. He asked, "Can I watch Heffalump Halloween?"

Thing 1, loving that he had figured out the game, asked, "Mommy, can I make a race car?"

I looked at the clock. It was 5:30, which meant it was almost time for Brock to get home. I turned back to my children and suggested, "You should wait for The Yes Machine to come home. You can ask him all sorts of questions and he will always answer yes."

Then all three of us laughed, because the truth is often funny.

Then Thing 1 asked, "Mommy, will you read this to me?"
I was still playing this new and fabulous game. I replied,  "No. Thing 2 will read it to you!"

Thing 2, who is three years old, replied, "I can't read!"
I asked him,  "Then what can you do?"

He said, "I can watch Heffalump Halloween."

And that is what happens when people like me reproduce.

Peace, Love and Heffalump Halloween,


  1. LOL that's funny...How long did the No Machine Last?
    I remember watching the Wizard of Oz one summer over and over and over again, for like a week straight.

    1. We played again today! Such fun!
      Did you have dreams about flying monkeys and yellow brick roads?

  2. Even though my Things are lots older, I think I'm gonna play this game too. The only problem is, when they get older they don't usually ask. Damn.
    (Love this, btw!!)

  3. Oh that's funny! Heffalump Halloween sounds like it would turn anybody into the No Machine (hey, that even rhymes!)

  4. After I would tell my kids no, they would always say why not. I would just tell them that I'm a mean mean person. They bought it for a while.

  5. "Because the truth is often funny" made me think of poorly dressed Walmart shoppers... Then I spit my coffee everywhere...