At first I drew a blank, so I walked around so that brilliance could spring forth into my lazy skull.
I would have walked a long time because "brilliance" never felt like springing. It didn't even feel like falling. Or wintering....
So I climbed into the booth and did what I do. I winged it.
I stared at my giant fivehead on the monitor and talked about my beauty tragedies. I mentioned with pride how, although I was indeed wearing purple eyeliner, that I never fell prey to that one horrendous fad of my youth. You know what I'm talking about. That cringeworthy makeup trend of the late 80's: electric blue mascara.
I watched it back and felt a little bad about my buggy eyes and thin lips, but okay about my topic selection.
Then I went to the incredible BlogHer fashion show that was sponsored by Ulta. They generously gifted each one of us with a goodie bag. I looooooove free stuff so I tore into that thing like a rabid terrier on a bare ankle. The first thing I grabbed was lipgloss. I love lip gloss! In the arid, moisture sucking climate of Colorado, I wear lip gloss all through the day and night! YAY for lip gloss! Then my sweaty little paw found yet another free treasure! I was thrilled! The box said "Calvin Klein". I had worn a Calvin Klein dress the day before! It was fate!
I opened the box to discover mascara. All blondes LOVE mascara. It is a beauty staple- primarily so that people know that we actually possess eyelashes. It also says, "No, I do NOT have the flu, thankyouverymuch." I opened the mascara to gaze upon the wand. The wand is everything, you know. And on that wand, I saw electric blue mascara. Naturally.
|This is a picture of me when I reunited with my twin sister at a family reunion.|
I am not wearing mascara.
No, I am not suffering from an illness.
Needless to say, when I logged onto the Ulta Beauty LOL website, I was not surprised that my snarky diatribe about electric blue mascara was lost on the cutting room floor.
So I wrote another LOL, which you can kindly vote for here. If that doesn't work, go here and to page 6- lower right hand corner. But I was limited to 500 characters and it was honestly quite stifling for a gal of my wordage. Then I posted a picture of me pretending to be a ninja. It had absolutely nothing to do with my story but I felt like it was the most accurate depiction of me.
|Then I blew out my back.|
Check out the Ulta LOL site, enter your own story and vote for your favorite (this one).
I'll write the long-winded version of the story next week. Hell, I'll most likely illustrate it.
Until then, I will satiate your desire for entertainment with a GIVEAWAY.
That's right! All you have to do to win is click on my ULTA BEAUTY LOL and hit "like". Feel free to share it with your friends. Convince them that is is good to have an albino ninja in their corner. Tell them whatever you like! Then comment here, on my Facebook page or there (under my story) and tell me something that you loved about the 80's.
One person will be the lucky winner of a slightly opened tube of electric blue mascara! Yeah! I'll bet you didn't see that coming! BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! If I win the $2,000 prize, I will SHARE it with the winner! Think of me as Nicholas Cage in It Could Happen to You, except I'm not going 50/50, it will be more that 95/5 or something. I don't know. I haven't worked out the details yet.
So go forth, enter your beauty lol and VOTE for PEDRO. I mean, VOTE for CornFedGirl! (that's me)
Peace, Love and Blue Eyelashes,