An Open Letter to All the Unsolicited Advice Givers, Specifically that Judgy Biz-nitch at Cost Cutters:
I would not call myself a kid person.
I would call myself a horse person, a dog person, an animal lover, an artist, a book lover, a nature person... but not a kid person.
It's not that I don't like kids. It's just that sometimes... well, I don't like kids.
That is, until I had my own. When I became a mother, I went beyond liking kids.
I love kids.
Specifically, I love my kids.
I love them so fiercely that I would throw myself in front of a garbage truck for them. I love them so wholeheartedly that I overcame my fears of phlegm, poop, vomit and a variety of other unbeknownst to me bodily fluids to care for them. I love them so abundantly that I often think I should have more children before I get 100% old, crusty and curmudgeony, because I love the sight of little legs running and their blonde hair flopping. I love them so deeply that I set boundaries for them and follow through with my actions, no matter how tired or overworked I am. I love them so much that I have missed sleep, a social life, showers, eating hot meals, sex and my entire pre-children lifestyle- including my hobbies and my horses- and I still am hopelessly devoted to my little people. They are also really cute and sweet and squeezable... and those tiny high pitched voices are the freaking adorable.
In all sincerity, having kids has been the best decision I've ever made in my life. It's also been the hardest thing I've ever done.
Kids are needy. Kids are loving. Kids are loud. Kids are hilarious. Kids are hungry. Kids are silly. Kids are draining. Yet kids can enrich your life and make it better than you ever imagined. Kids will embarrass you beyond belief, then fill you with so much pride that you think your heart will burst.
This is the never-ending dichotomy of parenthood.
All parents know this.
Time with children is fleeting. Youth is precious. Innocence is quickly lost and often replaced with ego and self doubt.
This, I know.
Again, all parents know.
This is why, when well meaning onlookers purse their lips in judgement and instruct annoying things like, "Enjoy every moment" and "They grow up so fast", I try my hardest not to snarl at them.
Easier said than done.
As a parent, as a human, it is not possible to enjoy every moment; which is why I choose to enjoy my good moments with my children. I engage with them on a daily basis. I play with them. I read to them. I show them the things that I love. I take interest in the things that they love. I talk to them. I listen to them, even when they are talking about Transformers. I take lots of pictures. We go many places together to have new adventures and experiences as a family. I enjoy those moments. I also enjoy when they are playing quietly and sleeping, or when they are safely with a sitter and my husband and I are drinking margaritas on a breezy patio, because I am not a raging bag of falsification.
My family is beautiful, happy, healthy & I am incredibly blessed. This I know. I do not need to be reminded, or rather, reprimanded, by strangers.
So THANK YOU, but I do not need to be told that my children's youth is fleeting. I may be blonde and look vapid or stupid to you, but I do indeed realize that my children's youth is not eternal. In fact, just the other day, I sat on the floor and wept because my oldest is going to Kindergarten and my youngest to Pre-School and it makes me so unbelievably sad.
I also realize that you, lady at Cost Cutters, would not appreciate it if I had let my child destroy those blocks in the manner that he had intended, which would have sent them flying at mach speed into your bare shins. He does this often with his toys, and it is a method of fierce play that I am advising against, because I am actively PARENTING him and would like him to have friends at school. Quite frankly, my reprimand was as gentle as motherfucking butterfly wings.
So shut your pie hole, stifle your judgement, and get your kids the same cheap, crappy haircut that I'm getting mine. You are not better than me. Nor am I about to believe for one moment that your kids never annoy you.
Peace, Love and Fuck Off,