Thursday, April 18, 2013

Little Talks with Brock and the Boys

Conversations with my family...
Yes. They happen.
Here is what was said in our house this evening.

Earlier tonight, when I was curling my hair with hot rollers:


Then when Brock came home, I was getting dressed to flee the house meet a friend:

Me: Ugh. I've gained some weight and it all went to my ass. None of my skirts fit.

Brock: You look the same to me.

Me, feeling frustrated while struggling into a pair of jeans: Do these jeans look okay?

Brock: Yeah! They are nice and tight!

Me: ....

Then later I was trying to figure out how to wear a shawl that my Aunt B gave to me when I was visiting:

Me, out loud but to myself: How should I wear this?

Brock: I don't know. It's been awhile since I've worn one of those.

Me: ...

This is how I styled it,
with my tight frickin' jeans,
in case you were wondering.

Later, all the boys joined me in my room while I was grabbing my purse:

Thing 1, looking around: Why do you guys have TWO dressers?

Brock: Mommy doesn't have just TWO, she has THREE! And Daddy gets a small portion of this one!

Me: Mommy likes clothes. Okay?

Thing 1: But why does she need SO MANY?

Brock: You'll find out soon enough.

Then Thing 2 disappeared into his room, where he began chanting:

Easter Egg, Easter EGG, EASTER EGG!!!!!

Me to Brock: Oh yeah, I put the Easter decorations in the boys room so that you could easily put them in the attic tonight. *like I asked him to do two weeks ago and now I refuse to do because of principle, and also because I'm an asshole*

Brock, drinking a beer: Huh?

Me: I hear someone chanting about eggs. It could get messy. I have to go now.

I did not know that my husband could move that fast.

Peace, Love and Unicorns,


  1. Yay for fleeing the house!! Have a fab night away from all of your boys. I know you need it!

    1. I returned home on Monday morning and didn't get any further away from the house than the barn. We've been snowed in, Brock was gone and OMG LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!

  2. Happy you got out of that sh*t storm! And you look STUNNING, lady!

    1. It is always good for my soul to slap on some lipstick and make my hair do something other than cling to my head. :)

  3. not many people can pull off the shawl look... but you look amazing!

    1. It's my "Granny Chic" look. I plan on wearing this outfit this weekend when I check myself into Shady Acres Retirement Community.

  4. I'm so relieved to know I'm not the only person who uses hot rollers.

    Signed, a Fellow Dinosaur