Monday, March 18, 2013

Day 1 of Spring Break and I'm already broken.

It is spring break this week, so Brock took Thing 1 to the dump this morning.

Wait... ?

Yep, that's pretty much how we roll around here. We don't need no stinkin' beachy vacations! Why would I want to walk in the sand, with crystal blue water lapping at my ankles while the sun kisses my shoulders in 80 degree weather? Nah. Instead, I'm building train tracks inside a house that reeks of burnt grease (there was a Shepard's Pie accident- don't ask) and Dad is with his 5 year old, doing man stuff together at the dump. It's probably the best Spring Break Thing 1 could have imagined.

I, on the other hand, could conjure up something so much better; something involving drinks with tiny umbrellas... and massages... and room service...


When I went to heat up my coffee for the 14th time in the microwave this morning, Thing 2 decided to strike up a dialogue with me. He proceeded in his usual conversational style. It went like this:

Thing 2: Hey mom.

Me: Yes?

Thing 2: Hey mom!

Me: What sweetie?

Thing 2: Hey mom!!!!

Me: Yes, pumpkin?

Thing 2: HEY MOM!!!!!

Me: WHAT????

Thing 2: I have a train named Thomas.

Me: ....

Fortunately for me, we've already experienced this style of exchange four more times this morning.
After hearing "HEY MOM!" 34 times, I have learned:
  1. "I wike oranges."
  2. "I wike trains."
  3. "I pinched my bewwy button."
  4. "I want toast."
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to tackle six loads of laundry, wipe every stinky surface in the house and hand wash all of the dishes in the dishwasher, which decided to stop working yesterday. I'm going to put on a bikini and pretend I'm in Mexico while I work.

Oh wait, I hate wearing swimsuits. THAT'S why we're not in Mexico!

(No, it's not.)

I should be a motherflipping civil engineer.
Peace, Love and Trains,


  1. Hey Johi.
    Hey Johi.
    Hey Johi
    I just got back from Spring Break in the Ozarks and I want toast, too. Or your left over coffee, could you warm it for me though.

    1. As you wish...
      Would you also like to chew up four baby carrots, then spit them all over the kitchen? Because that happened here today too. It's been magical.

  2. That is one mother of a train track. Bravo, lady.

    Just put on some shades, tilt the light shade towards your face and close your eyes. It's EXACTLY like being on a beach in Maui. Until the next, "hey mom!" that is.

    Have fun!! Happy Spring Break.

    1. I'm adding "Civil Engineer on the Island of Sodor" to my resume.

      I'll have to turn on my sound machine to the ocean setting too...

  3. My husband pointed out (when he called me from his business trip) that if he HADN'T had a conference this week and we HAD gone on vacation somewhere, I would have had stomach flu on my vacation.

    Somehow that didn't make me feel better about being stuck home with two active kids and the stomach flu all weekend...

  4. I just went to San Diego on a business trip. They had a heated pool where I stayed. So there I sat, staring at that lovely pool in my jeans. I'm not even ready for shorts yet...



    1. I wore a skirt the other day and the level of white that my legs have achieved is rather noteworthy. I'm going to have to break into the sunless tanning lotion soon.

  5. I never choose the beach when I get a chance for vacation anyway.

    You did great with the train set. Enjoy the "time off."

    1. What do you choose? Mountains? Desert? City?

      So far, in my time off, I have done a bunch of laundry, scrubbed the bathrooms and cleaned poo. It's been magical.

    2. Mountains or big city. I grew up in the country and am used to quiet and the beach just doesn't do it for me.

  6. Spring Break? Already? Yikes! It's not even officially spring!

    1. I know! Then Easter is going to happen in March and I'm going to be really confused.

  7. Sorry, you can't be on the beaches of Mexico for your Spring Break. Our's start next week, I'm not going to Mexico either. So, I will have to settle for the beach here in Florida. :)

    Oops, did I just rub that in? Sorry. ;)
    New follower here, love your site!


    1. Welcome! Welcome!
      Florida would be lovely. Sun... sand... water. Ahhhh. And yes, you did rub that in with a consistent circular motion. Thank you. ;)

  8. I refuse to wear swimsuits in public. R.E.F.U.S.E. I'm totally impressed with your train track creation.

    1. I hear you. Honestly, I would rather be naked: no elastic creating extra lumps.

      Thanks, I'm reaching "Master Builder" stage with those tracks. I get pretty intense with it and tell the kids "DON'T TOUCH THAT! I'M NOT FINISHED!" There's probably something wrong with me.

  9. ugh - my kids do the mom, mom, mom thing too. It is beyond annoying. Any survival tips for spring break. Ours starts next week.

    1. I've been kicking them outside as often as possible and forcing them to play together. I'm super abusive like that.

  10. I'm not going to lie. When it comes time to put together the train tracks I purposely kick sections under the couch. We're a big fan of the small oval.

    1. I actually enjoy making track configurations, probably because I'm a dork. It's that PLAYING WITH THE TRAINS part that sucks.

  11. That train set-up is ridiculous. Don't let my kids see, because I can't handle anything past a simple figure 8. Your mad skills should totally earn you a drink with a tiny umbrella.