Thursday, February 28, 2013

Thoughts from a Two Year Old

Sometimes you need to empty the entire shampoo bottle.

Sometimes you lock yourself in the bathroom and squeeze out all the toothpaste.
Sometimes you should help Mommy clean the dishes...
With half a bottle of dish soap.
Sometimes there is just too much $13.00 face wash in that container.
Sometimes you need that much ranch dressing on your plate.

Sometimes your socks just have to be red.

Sometimes you are supposed to nap...
But you aren't tired,
So you climb onto the top of the dresser ...
and try to fly!
Sometimes that hurts your tummy.

Sometimes you say AMEN! at the end of a book.

Sometimes you should eat more
than just red Popsicles and tiny oranges...
Things like candy and chocolate and Ketchup.

Sometimes tiny oranges are your best friend.
They like to be cuddled, you know.

Sometimes you should smile when the tall people look mad...
Then they won't look mad anymore.

Sometimes, the cowboy boots.
Okay, all of the time, the cowboy boots.

Sometimes Teddy likes to go flying..
all the way up on the ceiling fan.

Sometimes you need your blanket.
Sometimes you let your dog lay on your blanket...
But not the cat. NO. Not the cat.
Sometimes that makes you cry.

Sometimes you like firetrucks.

Sometimes band aids are fun to put all over your body.

Sometimes you see trains everywhere.

Sometimes you like Percy and James, But you always like Thomas.

Sometimes you need Daddy.
Sometimes you need Mommy.
Sometimes you need Dora.

Sometimes you don't need a tissue...
Especially if you are wearing long sleeves.

Sometimes you have to say please and thanks.

Sometimes you just have to giggle and dance.

Sometimes you want to taste the chair.

Sometimes people say things to you...
They say,
"You are cute!"
"You are smart!"
"You are funny!"

You should always reply,
"No I'm NOT!
 I'M TWO!!!!"

That was my week. I need to go to the store to replace some items. My bottles may all be empty, but my heart is full.

Peace, Love and Living with (and loving) a Two Year Old,


  1. Love this, Johi!! And I'm pretty sure a lot of that stuff stays on the list for to be enjoyed in subsequent years. :) At least that's how it is at my house ...

    1. Thank you! I'm a bit concerned about the "flying" off the top of the dresser one. He did it again today. At least he will learn how to land?

  2. Do you ever have those moments, despite your extreme attempts at being a good, decent, generous person . . . and even though it's your friend and you love her to pieces and only want to support and uplift her and her brilliant efforts, where you think . . .

    . . . bitch, this is just too damn good. I SO wish I had written it, instead!

    Just me then? Oh, ok then.


  3. This should be a book! And then we other moms can place our own scrapbook photos next to the "Sometimes".

    Because Sometimes you grow up, and even though you are joining the Air Force, you still act like a Two Year Old." (Today.) *sigh. I miss finding Pokemon stickers all over the computer screen,

    Great post on a very appropriate day for me.

    1. That's a cute idea! Do you want to publish it? Ha!

      I'm glad you liked the post, and it is nice to know that he will still be doing these things in 16 years! ARGH!

  4. I totally read this as a Book To Read My Child. The pictures would be awesome! (Especially the long sleeved, I don't need a kleenex and teddy flying all the way up the the ceiling!)Please make this children's book happen. Now.

    1. Okay! I'll try! Stop being so pushy- geesh! :)

      The lillustrations would be pretty adorable... I have a good model.

    2. lillustrations? I'm really functioning well today...

  5. My daughter had a knack for finding paint. She must have been able to sniff it out. Walls, couch, bed, brother, hair, dresser, clothes. Paint everywhere.

  6. He is adorable! I wish my babies were still little! Oh wait, no I don't.

  7. Made my day. !!Smiles a plenty!! ^_^

    By the way, write a darn book already. This one, when it becomes a book, needs to be in the hands of every parent, and it will make kids smile too.

    1. I'm working on it. Check the Memoir tab.

      Enough of you have said that I should make this a book. I'll look into it.

  8. You've already become a published illustrator (awesome job by the way); add published writer to your list. Many people try, Johi, and don't get it accomplished. You are extremely talented, and I have no doubt that some day you will.

    1. I have two essays published in two books! I just wrote about one today and I plan on talking more about the other one soon.

      Thanks for your support!

  9. Sometimes I say AMEN at the end of the book. I said it at the end of this post. Fantastic.

    1. Thank you thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

  10. "Sometimes you need that much ranch dressing on your plate."---I totally agree with this.