Hey everybody! Tomorrow is Valentine's Day!
This will serve your ONLY friendly reminder, fellas.
Some women go batshit cray-cray if you get her the wrong stuff on the VDay.
And if you FORGET VDay, you can forget about getting any for a very long time.
A very, Very, VERY long time.
If you have one of those women, let me just say, "SUCKA!"
I meant to say, "I'm so sorry."
And also, "HAHAHAHAHA!"
Brock and I were sitting with a group of friends the other night. The guys were sharing the name of the place they get their VD flowers. They were boasting about the discount prices. They spoke of the chocolate. It was very cute. That is when I looked at Brock and said, "Forget the flowers, just give me the cash."
Only Brock knew that I was serious.
We are celebrating this year just like we did last year-in our pj's, watching a movie, eating bacon.
We're pretty romantic like that.
You ARE a winner!
No, not YOU. Her.
image from the graphics fairy
Speaking of VD, I have some news! It's pretty exciting!
1. I'll be in Estes Park this Saturday at MacDonald's Book Shop, signing the book that I illustrated, B. Thomas the Bear's Rocky Mountain Chocolate Adventure.
Please stop by and say hello between the hours of 11:00 and 12:30, and 2:00 to 4:00.
152 East Elkhorn Ave., Estes Park, Colorado
B. Sometime soon, very soon, yours truly is going to be a PUBLISHED AUTHOR.
WHAT? I know!! It's true! I AM awesome!
I was invited to join a fabulous group of 30+ funny muthas in an anthology. An original essay of mine will be featured in the book and it will be available for purchase fairly soon. Save your pennies, mah people! You will NEED this book in your life! I've been perusing these ladies' blogs, and let me tell you, I've been glued to my computer for the past three days, reading and laughing my flabby white arse off. Thank the good lawd that my children love staring at the TV... er... I mean... solving the Rubix cube, teaching themselves to read and putting together 10,000 piece puzzles!
Here are a few samples of the type of writing you will see in the anthology:
RachRiot is a... well... she's a riot. I laughed out loud at this post, where she talks about vacationing with a friend in Vermont. Go. Read. Laugh. Then file her words like "lacto-amnesia" and "eatomaniac" into your verbal arsenal.
Momiacal is real, awesome and hilarious. In this post, she tells a horrific and hysterical story about having to take her children with her for her annual exam with the cave doctor. I don't know about you, but it is a personal nightmare of mine to have my children witness vaginal spelunking.
Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess is a hoot. I snorted coffee through my nose when I read this post about a yoga class she attended. The next time you are in downward facing dog, all you will be able to think is "fat raccoon stuck in a trash can".
Enjoy these new blogs! I will be featuring more fellow authors every week.
Happy Valentine's Day to each and every one of you.
Even you, with the horrendous halitosis; you need love too.
Peace, Love and Bacon,