I attempt to use every opportunity that is presented for growth and development. Sometimes my own, always my children's and occasionally Brock's. Unfortunately, I often walk around with my head up an orifice that will remain unnamed
Brock and I were on an actual date, sitting on the outdoor patio of an Asian Bistro. Old Town Ft. Collins is buzzing with life on weekend evenings, and being avid people watchers, we were not for lack of entertainment. I noticed a cowboy sitting on the patio of the restaurant next door with his back to us. I could tell that he was a cowboy by his giant brimmed, palm leaf hat. Women kept stopping at the patio barricade near him. They were all leaning towards him, smiling and chatting. Naturally I was curious about the cause of this reaction from the ladies, so I shifted my chair to get a better look at Mr. Giant Hat. That is when I spied the reason for all of the female attention. A blue heeler puppy, no more than 12 weeks old was lying at his feet. Aha! The old "look at this adorable puppy" routine, also known as the number one secret to getting random women to talk to you.
I said to my husband, "If I ever die in a fiery crash, you should get a really cute puppy and take it to a public place in a nice neighborhood. You will definitely meet a woman that can potentially mother our children that way. Maybe she could finally train our dogs, too."
Brock said, "That's a pretty good plan. Especially since I'm such an old fart."
I said, "I know. If you have a puppy, the chances of women talking to you are 100%. I recommend an Australian Shepard, because they are the cutest puppies. You are welcome."
I'm gritting my teeth just looking at this picture.
(*This is a very accurate representation of the number of words each of us use per conversation. No wonder he doesn't listen to me.)
(*I have no clue what the woman's face looked like so I'm just assuming that she had a face and I improvised as best I could. Also, I'm not sure how to spell cantaloupe because I think it is a disgusting melon that smells like armpits. And I do know that you scratch an itch, not itch a scratch, but I do NOT know where we keep white out.)
Although this story is moral free, there are two and a half lessons to be learned.
1. Match your boob job to your body size- at least somewhat.
2. Don't whip your head around and stare directly at anyone with your mouth agape, unless your target is blind, then I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't notice.
2.5 Don't use watercolor with a random pen on computer paper- it bleeds. Also, don't get tired when drawing a child's arm, hence giving said child a club hand.
~ Do you do things like this with your significant other or am I the only strange bird in this land? Also, what kind of puppy do you think attracts the most attention?
Peace, Love and Puppies,