Friday, July 27, 2012

Sh#tStorm

You know those moments when everything goes wrong and your friends all move out of town and you just experienced one too many awkward and painful moments with people that are supposed to love and support you and then you get the stomach flu at the exact same time that your husband does in the middle of the night?

Thank God Brock put in a second bathroom, because my boxing-out skills are strong from my years of playing basketball and he wouldn't stand a chance against these bony elbows and child birthing hips.

And I will have you know that I don't just go all willy nilly with my stomach flu time. I am type A right down to the way I vomit. I first braided my hair, then put on a headband so as not to get anything nasty in my locks. Then I wiped down the base of the toilet, because once I got onto the floor, I realized that Thing 1 had indeed been using the toilet (and not just my shower) as a urinal. Then I hit a high C and commenced with my business.

Then I repeated the process multiple times until I was reduced to a sweaty, quivering lump in my bed. The next day, in between trying to sleep and take care of my children (ha!), I discovered two pieces of disheartening information from people that I love. Then I was sad. Then I walked around most of today with greazzzzzy (but not chunky!), unbrushed hair in Brock's t-shirt (that I happen to hate) and I fed my children McDonald's for lunch because cooking is not an option.

On a positive note, times like this usually end in me losing a few pounds and thinking about the person that I do NOT want to be. Then, after an arduous process of sorting out my thoughts, I make mental notes to not make those same mistakes, but to do better with myself for those around me.

I know that I am being cryptic here, and I am in no way searching for "Oh sorry, tell me what happened." I am just venting, and I am merely doing the right thing by not naming names. Look at me! I'm a grown up now!

I think that I deserve some ice cream... and maybe a sticker.

I also want to pause and thank you all for reading what I write. Your support and comments mean more to me than you could imagine. And I'm almost sorry that I started my last post with telling people to f*** off. Please google images for Cats Wearing Hats and accept that as my mostly sincere apology.

How do you handle situations that are just plain wrong? What do you eat when recovering from the stomach flu (especially since my system can no longer handle Saltines, which were my go-to food for problematic tummy times)?


Peace and Love,
Johi

21 comments:

  1. Liquid jello was soothing when I was sick. I lost 11 pounds in 4 days. It was awesome. I'm so sorry you're sick. Maybe big sis could take the kids for a few days?

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  2. I love you and will buy you a big shiny sticker when you're here! Pho.....its the bomb and easy on the stomach too Xo

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    1. I need to see if Ft. Fun has pho. I always forget about pho.

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  3. I love you and will buy you a big shiny sticker when you're here! Pho.....its the bomb and easy on the stomach too Xo

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  4. Nutella & Guinness. Cures everyting.

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    1. I almost puked just reading your food combination! I'll just trust that it works for you!

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  5. That sucks! Hope you feel better soon.

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  6. It's been years since I couldn't eat for any reason. If I am anxious, I eat. If I am angry, I eat. If I am happy? You guessed it. I eat. I have often considered drinking unfiltered water from mountain streams just so I could go on the Giardia diet, but I can't get myself to do it. So, I have to try to lose weight through healthy lifestyle changes. (Booo-ring).

    If saltines don't work... what about just plain chicken or vegetable broth? Lots of electrolytes and a bit of energy. Jello (just don't put alcohol in them (for now)).

    Sorry you aren't feel good. I hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Ahhhh. Broth. I had forgotten.

      Thanks, I am feeling much better. Sleep is healing.

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  7. I love you and am so sorry you are feeling bad, in every permutation. I am here if you need to talk about anything.

    Try some ginger ale. Settles the stomach. Bagels also work in moderation.

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  8. I hope you're feeling better now!

    Graham crackers are usually my go-to stomach-settling food.

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  9. I'm so sorry! Ginger ale, and saltines, then you get to move up to jello, then applesauce (gag) then toast, then mashed potatoes, then you're pretty much good to go I hope. Feel better!

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    1. I remembered how much mashed potatoes help hangovers and got some. Thanks!

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  10. Orange sherbet is the ONLY thing I want afetr a bout of stomach flu. Also, Coke Slurpees are the bomb for stomach viruses AND morning sickness. the Coke syrup is a natural emetic and the ice numbs your stomach lining. I'm not really a doctor, but I play one on TV.

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    1. AHA! One to remember! I think the real problem was that BOTH Brock and I were sick so no one was around to wait on us.

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  11. Hey feel better fast. Sending you an imaginary cyber-sticker. It's scratch and sniff AND puffy and says "Your Rock." :)

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    1. I always wanted my own rock puffy cyber sticker. thanks so much!

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