Emptying your intestines of everything via a stomach virus is sort of like a poor man's colon cleanse. Even though you feel weak and defeated on the outside, your digestive tract is as fresh and clean as that of a baby calf that almost died from severe scours.
So as not to waste a sparkling clean colon, I took the first few days after my special time with the toilet to only eat food that was pure, whole and good for me. Then I branched out very cautiously into the meats and cheese category. Then I sampled some popcorn at Super Target. Then I ate greasy rodeo food. Then I had wine. Then I discovered a sugary. delicious gluten-free phenomenon and all of my careful, health conscious eating was out the window like Smelly Cat clawing a hole through the screen to make himself an escape route that he probably calls "My personalized kitty door because you bastards ignored my meowing again. You should thank me for not shitting in your closet."
Let my introduce you to my little friend.
|HOW TO MAKE THIS COOKIE CONCOCTION:|
You smear the chocolate on the cookie like THIS,
and then you EAT IT.
The cookies are from Super Target (not yer ordinary Target), which is shocking because, quite frankly, their gluten free selection blows. But, it is SUPER Target, so I have hope for a better gluten free choices in their future. Also, I forgive them because of all of the other awesome shit that they sell.
So go here and buy some chocolate, get your crunchy cookies and find some elastic waist pants because you are in for a par-tay.
Fuck bikini season.
Peace, Love and Unicorns,