Tuesday, May 1, 2012

An Ode to Wind

Wind oh Wind,
we go way back.
Although, most of the time
I've felt under attack.
For we both know that you can creepily stalk
and surprise me out of nowhere with your element of shock.
Like the time you came up behind me fast
and slammed my truck door into my ass.
That wasn't very cool.

Wind oh Wind,
why must you hate?
You whip my hair into my face...
my mouth, no less?
When you do shiz like this,
you make me hate lip gloss,
which I normally think is awesomesauce.
And I also gagged a little.

Wind oh Wind,
you can be a nasty goon,
a tornado, a hurricane, a great monsoon.
With one mighty howl, you tear apart homes and dreams.
You can devastate and destroy- with ease it seems.
Yet you leave hideous structures like my garage be?
Have you no soul? Or are you just into irony?

Wind oh Wind,
sometimes you can be like a Swiss army knife
useful and versatile, giving me life...
like when you lifted up my sweaty hair
and let my fivehead get some air.

Wind oh Wind,
Your kindness does not pass me by
For a keen eye have I.
Ask my kids, I see everything.
I saw you gently lift the butterflies' wing
and also when you stir the seeds of beauty
and sow them like it's not the farmer's duty.

Wind oh wind,
But then you stir other seeds as well
don't you?
like thistle, ragweed and men who wear puka shell.
And when you lovingly huff
and stir the dandelion's downy puffs
high into the day
so that down upon my lawn they spray,
You make me think,
"huh. that's stupid."

Wind oh Wind,
we have a love/hate thing.
Sometimes you make my ears ring.
You dry my clothing
You fill me with loathing
You blow up my skirt
You fill my house my house with dirt
You cool the days
and you make me feel crazed.

Wind oh Wind
I must be honest.
Not all of my love for you is lost.
Yet, some true disgust for you I do store,
when you blow just like that dirty whore.
And you break my mothereffing umbrella.

The end.

I'm expecting an award for this, because I love poetry so much and I'm clearly an extremely talented poet.


  1. Hahaha! I feel your pain; we live on the prairie!

    1. Estes Park in the winter and Cedar Falls, IA ruined me for wind. It makes me grind my teeth.

  2. Clearly. Why you're not yet the poet laureate is beyond comprehension.

  3. Brilliant. Just . . . beyond compare. I believe you have finally found your calling.

    And Jo? Um, maybe take the umbrella DOWN in the wind storm? Just a thought.

    1. Ha! I didn't even know it was UP! I BLAME BROCK!!!!

  4. The weatherpeople kept saying today was going to be "mild." It's sunny and 78 degrees on May 2 in Fargo, ND. This is gorgeous weather!! Why were they calling it "mild"? Because for ONCE, there is no wind today. Thank God.

    1. Sounds like a great day for using the wood chipper.... I'm sure you've never heard that one before. We've had really lovely weather all spring too, except the occasional gusty garbage.

  5. Beautiful! I love it! Back in Delaware it was usually some form of windy, and windspeeds are a regular part of the weather forecast.

    I've missed your blog lately, with all the move-stuff. But I'm back, thankfully.

    1. Are you all settled in? More importantly, have you met Brett yet???? :) You haven't missed much here. I've been feeling...um... special lately. But I'm almost back, too.

  6. That was FANTASTIC, seriously. Loved it.

    What's a "fivehead" and how does it get air?

    (See, I DID READ IT!)

    1. A fivehead is in the same place that commonly referred to as a forehead. The difference is that it is tall enough to hold FIVE fingers, rather than the typical four fingers. It gets air when the kindly wind blows the bangs off of it.

    2. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I get it. Now.