Tuesday, May 22, 2012

No snark, just warm fuzzies. Barf bags are located in the seat pocket directly in front of you.

Something weird is happening to me. Recently I've been doing a little self-improvement jazz and I seem to be running out of snark. *insert noises of shock here* After years of dreaming of and praying for contentment, I seem to have grasped some of that seemingly elusive peace and I'm apparently super unprepared for it; as it feels incredibly foreign to me and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. Then I sit down here to write and all I can think about is how adorable my kids are and how supportive Brock is and how grateful I am for my fabulous life which is so rich and full of wonderful people and I come up with nothing to tell you for fear of coming off as an annoying Pollyanna. So instead I paint my toenails and sing "I've been working on the railroad" with my kids. But, shit, I'm happy. So if you are still reading, try to hold back the vomit and bear with me.

In case you are living under a rock (or in a different part of the world), it is springtime here in Colorful Colorado. Springtime has always meant a few things for me: Baby animals (the only cute goose in my opinion is a baby one), lots of green things, beautiful weather with only a small number of mosquitoes, the PLANTING OF THE GARDEN, flowers, something of a tan, less cooking and more grilling. All of this also equals more time outside and less time in front of the computer. In my mixed up world, it also means that I gain five pounds, because that makes a lot of sense.



All the good stuff

So my German thighs, doughy ass and I are truly enjoying our surroundings, especially now that is is skirt season and everyone knows that skirts are forgiving of five pounds around the general region of the trunk.

We had some visitors last week. My aunt, uncle and cousin were in town for the night and they stayed with us. This provided us with a few things: people to drink and laugh with (because my family is awesome) and inspiration to present our lives in an functional light, which meant that Brock and I kicked it into high gear and completed a shit ton of projects that we had left unfinished. For instance, it is normal to paint a room the night before people show up to stay in it, right?

My aunt and uncle. They're the bomb.

We bid farewell to our guests but said hello to new friends when we dropped a mortgage payment at Lowe's and purchased the goods needed to beautify our yard. We spent last weekend amending the soil in my garden and planting seeds for vegetables and flowers. I added some new perennials to the beds around our barn and an adorable gnome for whimsy (because I can't justify $200 for the 6 foot tall metal chicken). It was heaven. The new dirt smelled so fertile that I almost wanted to eat it, but we're civilized so instead Brock opened my bottle of Strongbow with his Buck knife and we drank together next to the freshly planted, fragrant garden beds.

It's all good.

I call this "Real men open bottles with Buck knives".
I don't even feel like I need to tell you how much I love this picture.....

In case you haven't noticed, I uploaded Instagram onto my pink phone and I have been busy ever since spamming facebook with pictures of my precious treasures and other things that I deem photo-worthy. If you are my facebook friend, I will not apologize. I'm just branding my page. I'm going for something like "dirty kids look cuter with retro post processing" or "the photo journalistic version of the life of Johi". It's my new thing and I will probably be overzealous in my love for Instagram until I get sick of it and move onto something else. It's what I do. Just ask my college roommate how she feels about James Taylor.

A leaky hose is a world of fun for boys.
This was our morning today (followed by an afternoon bath-- followed
by me cleaning the bath tub.)

I've also finished up a couple of personal challenges that were looming over my head and I feel really great about that. For instance, my inbox for one of my emails is *almost* entirely cleaned out and I recently reorganized my jewelry with plans of moving on to my scarves next. Winning.

The worst thing that has happened to me (other than slamming a dumpster lid onto my finger) is that the Things spent 50 minutes the other night racing their trucks around the house. It doesn't sound that awful, does it? Put this video on repeat 200 times with the volume at max and then tell me how you feel. I may or may not have yelled and/or cried a little. Oh, and I keep finding fleas on one of my children. That's not awesome. I'm probably going to have to sell the dogs, shave the cat and burn the contents of my home.

See? Nothing funny-bitchy to say, just that I am still here and loving life right now. Don't worry, someone stupid is bound to show up and annoy me and my snark will return soon enough, but until then I'll just be here sending out love, light and a butt load of Instagram photos into the Universe.

If I can get enough of this kind of thing, I may be able to erase the
pi symbol that is engraved into my forehead.

Peace, Love and Unicorns,



  1. Ohai, zen! Johi, I am ecstatic for you. I pray each night that the next day will be more peaceful, and well, it never is, but I am learning to find joy amid the chaos. Hubs, on the other hand, hasn't quite honed that one yet... This post makes me want to take my kids and throw them in a mud puddle. And as soon as we get to grandma's next week, that's exactly what I'm going to do. (I just cleaned.)

    1. I'm sending you some of this good juju right now! Have fun at Grandma's house! xoxo

  2. Ooh! I want some of that goodness and light. Had some pretty dark days this last month (spiritually, not climate-wise) and I could use a little sunshine. :)

    1. Consider it sent your way lady. I'm sorry that things have been rough. It really seems to me like you are going through a major transition of self right now and that is going to give you some bumps, but I think that the future holds wonderful things for you, dear Jen. Your posts are epic and just keep getting better. Call me anytime. xoxo

  3. I shall send you my teenage daughter immediately. She is currently pissed off steaming mad because I won't drop everything and buy her a car. She has approximately twenty-seven cents saved up. My eye twitches, too.

    1. You are clearly an unfit mother, Bridget. Sheesh! Send her to me. I'll teach her all about the rewards of working with no pay. :)

  4. I don't know what you are talking about . . . that 10 seconds of your boys racing trucks is completely endearing and adorable. Gah, you are such a downer! ;)

    I am so glad that you are so serene. I miss your snark and your posts, of course, but being in a good place is so much more important. I need a bit of that. If you have a little extra, throw it my way, would ya? Either that or I will just send my boys out to you . . . I will get some serenity, and you will be overwhelmed by snark!! Deal, yes?

    1. For sure I'll throw some your way. That is probably the best of the two options, seeing as though I made a conscious decision to stop having children after I made two. I think that two is all I am equipped to handle.

  5. this is awesome and i know exactly how you feel! sometimes i feel like a weirdo for feeling so content. life is truly about perspectives. the negatives don't go away, imo. it's just a matter of our focus. great post!

    -namaste (it's been a while since i commented)

    1. Thanks! I think that you are correct- perspective is everything. It's good to know that I'm not alone on the Island of Contentment. :)

  6. I <3 you Johi :)

    It's probably frowned upon to put Frontline on your children, isn't it...

    1. Aw shucks! I heart you too, Barb!

      Is it? Crap.

  7. Can't comment...going out immediately to buy lots of skirts....

    I'm happy that you're happy. =)