I apologize for not being present on my blog or any of yours lately. But I've been super busy. And I have photographic evidence.
We went to a parade. A St. Patty's Day one. It was awesome for me, because: 1) I happen to be part Irish 2) I love green and 3) Brock went with and held Thing 2 the entire time, thus giving my back a break from 23 pounds of wiggly, screaming, yet adorable toddler and 4) Sarah joined us and together we watched her 3 year old break dance. He was wearing a shirt that Sarah made for him that said "Sham Rocker" and his hair was in a mohawk. It pretty much made my week, but wait! I did more awesome stuff!
Then we gave all the animals baths. Smelly Cat got a tooth lodged in Brock's thumb. I probably laughed. But I also treated the wound so I get points for that.... right? And the animals were fresh and clean for about 30 minutes. Black Dog and Smelly Cat have both since rolled in whatthef&^%isTHAT?
It was sunny all week so I spent a lot of time here...
|I really want a bow and some explosive arrows now...|
|Jessica Simpson knows how to make a great shoe. |
I laughed because these are called "Edith".
I would have named them "Candi with an 'I'".
Now I will share a tip with all you women who secretly love hoochie clothes: Only 20% of your clothing can be hoochie- NO MORE. I wore these shoes with dark skinny jeans and a dolmen sleeve sweater, which made it okay. If I would have put these on with a minuscule skirt and a tube top, someone would have asked me "How much?" and Misty would have posted my picture on her blog. Instead, I confused people and got free drinks.
I must admit, I kind of wished that I wasn't wearing the stripper shoes when the host asked "How many are in your group?" and I said "At least three, but maybe more. It depends on how friendly we are tonight." (I was not referring to be friendly with the opposite sex, but he didn't know that.) I really shouldn't be allowed to talk..... or go into public unsupervised.....
After that I played it safe and watched some daytime TV, where I learned about Superman planking, how all woman deserve an orgasm (fist pump!) and how to eat in the morning. I hate eating in the morning. I don't want anything but coffee, but I know that food is important and yadda yadda blah blah blah.... And worse than the actual eating is the thinking about what to eat. Also known as MEAL PLANNING. *shudder*
So I tried this recipe. It is wheat and dairy free and packed full of protein (apparently you are supposed to have 30 grams of protein within the first 30 minutes of your day). Also it is low in sugar (apparently you are supposed to eat less than 15 grams a day for overall health and to reduce belly fat).
Dr. Oz: Skinny Muffins1. Jorge’s Skinny Muffins
IngredientsMakes one serving
1/4 cup ground flax
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp coconut oil
1 packet stevia
Mix all ingredients together in a mug and microwave for 50 seconds. Allow to cool to a safe temperature and enjoy!
Because this is picture day-here is a picture of the ingredients and the finished product:
|I used a measuring cup instead of a mug because I have an|
irrational fear of mugs exploding in the microwave.
|And I have successfully consumed my daily allowance of brown|
food all before 8:30 a.m.! Winning!
|You can't go wrong with TWO thumbs up and big trucks on the table!|
And then there is...... THE GIANT CREEPY BUNNY
|He is always watching..... knowing....plotting....|
and he may eat us all while we sleep.
Peace, Love and Microwavable Health Food,