Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Say what?

Since Thing 2's speaking is a blend of mostly unintelligible beeps and boops (think Beaker from the Muppets), this post is all about the glorious things that have been falling out of Thing 1's mouth.



To give Thing 2 a little more credit, he does yell "TOE!" (toast), "BAPPLE!" (apple), "NANANANANANANANA!" (banana), "NIGH NIGH" (Goodnight), "POOOOOOO!" (poop) and "DAH-DEEeEEE!" (Brock, the chosen one).

Thing 1, on the other hand, has a fairly decent vocabulary and had been known to tell me exactly what his little brother cannot. Also, he pinches said little brother when he thinks that I'm not looking.

When will they figure out that I see EVERYTHING? I sleep with one eye open boys. Get used to it (or better at being sneaky).

Here are some of typical conversations that I have had with my 4 year old Thing 1 as of late.

............................................................................
Thing 1, who loves running around barefoot,  "Why can't I take off my shoes and socks at school?"

Me, "Because it is a public place, and we always keep our shoes on in public places."

Thing 1, "Why?"

Me, "Because people wear their dirty shoes around and step in gross things, like pee on the floor of bathrooms."

Thing 1, who has exceptional aim, "Why do people pee on the floor in bathrooms?"

Me, "I'm not sure. Maybe they have bad aim...."

Thing 1, with great seriousness,"Or maybe they are stupid?"

Me, nodding sagely, "Probably."

.........................................................

The next day......

Thing 1, from the bathroom, "Hey DADDY! I just farted and some poop just JUMPED out of my butt and landed on the floor!"

Me, laughing , "That's why we wear SHOES!"

I was so happy that he called Dad in for that one.

..........................................................

Thing 1, "Why are girls not big and strong like guys?"

Me, "Don't underestimate the strength of girls, dude."

Thing 1, "Well, why are you not big and strong like Daddy?"

Me, "I have a bad back. Go play. Mommy needs to finish reading her book while she gets a tan."

Thing 1, "Well, why don't you like Transformers and guns? Because I like Transformers and guns!"

Me, "I know you do. Let's talk about them both some more.....later."

..................................................................


Thing 1, "Why...............blahblahblahblahblah?"
Thing 1, "Why...............blahblahblahblahblah?"
Thing 1, "Why...............blahblahblahblahblah?"
Thing 1, "Why...............blahblahblahblahblah?"
Thing 1, "Why...............blahblahblahblahblah?"
Thing 1, "Why...............blahblahblahblahblah?"
Thing 1, "Why...............blahblahblahblahblah?"

Me, "Why do you think that is?"

....................................................................

*he comes out of his room wearing THIS outfit*

I'm going to say that he gets his fashion sense from his father....


Me, "Wow! That's quite the outfit!"

Thing 1, "What? It's just a Toy Story shirt. Don't YOU want a Toy Story shirt?"

Me, "Of course I do. Who doesn't want a Toy Story shirt?"

.................................................

Thing 1, while playing with Thing 2, "My brother and I are working hard, building stuff..... just like our fodder (i.e. father)."

My cup runneth over.

Peace, Love and Adorable Little People,
Johi

18 comments:

  1. Your man there dresses like my husband. Every day he walks out of our boudoir clothed, is like an insult to the fashion world AND my eyeballs. Lucky he's hot & would still look hot dressed in a garbage bag. God help our yet to be concieved small person.

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    1. Ha! Awesome!! And I got a FABULOUS package in the mail from New Zealand today!!!! I cannot wait to wear the earrings and start listing people in the book!! muahahahaha!

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    2. Yay!!!! So glad it arrived. Hope you enjoyed my main street park bench gabble x

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    3. I enjoyed every bit of that package! Thank you so so much!!!!

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  2. I opened the freezer once to discover that Barbie was laid across the ice cream with her head frozen into the ice cube tray. I ask my 3 year old daughter if she done it. She admitted it.

    I asked, "Why?"

    Kirsten calmly responded, "She was bad."

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    1. I'm crying over here. That is so awesome.

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  3. Ha. Thanks for sharing this today. Made me laugh instead of crying over the fact that my thing 3 is NOT taking a FREAKING nap today!

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    1. Ugh! Nap refusals SUCK! I'm glad I could make you laugh. :)

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  4. Extreme cuteness.

    But Johi . . . why DON'T you like transformers and guns? What are you . . . a girl???

    And your son is exactly right. People ARE stupid.

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    1. I just want to talk about shoes. Is that so wrong?

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  5. My boy child will NOT say Mama, Dadadadadada only. He evens laughs at me. Kinda glad the girl child will speak baby with ease.

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    1. Thing 2 will say Mama, but it is a last resort. And he teases me too. What are we raising????? I fear that I am raising one just like me, and that frightens me.

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  6. No really. I peed a little. I also do it when I sneeze. But the fart poop shoes? I think Thing 1 needs to come stay with Aunt Kelly for some comedic relief. Thank you so much for sharing that. I needed laughter SO BAD today. That just cut through the shit sandwich I was served with a hot machete. Wait. That was a bad analogy.

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    1. Ha! I read the Bloggess today too-- hilarious as usual!
      I'm glad that this was a hit. I've been so so so uninspired lately. Isn't it nice that I let the wee ones write my posts for me?

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  7. Thank God. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's short people dress from the Stevie Wonder Menswear catalogue.

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  8. Wow, Johi, thank you SOOOO much for this post!! It has kept me laughing to myself all day and mades
    my very poorly hubby laugh out loud, despite a raging temperature and sore throat - good work!! Of course, this is coming from the girl who married a boy who is fascinated with all things to do with poo ... he has his own poo-categorization system - which he kindly informed everyone in his wedding speech that I laughed at and then told him how much I love him ... ! ;)

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    1. Thanks for the comment and I hope the hubby feels better soon!
      Since I am in a house full of boys, two dogs, a cat and have two ponies in the backyard- I am around a lot of poo. A lot Your man would love it here.
      I'm considering getting chickens just to have some compostable poo... how sick am I?

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