Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I think that you care more about those boots than you do about me.

I went away to be "refreshed" this past weekend. And no, I was not committed. Thanks for wondering.

Fine, I'll give you a hint.

You see, I haven't been writing on this here blog lately because I am now a woman of leisure and I was busy traveling to and around San Francisco.

My bestie bought me a ticket to fly out and visit him for my birthday. It was the perfect gift! It was warm and sunny there and I got to be around some of my favorite people, because not only does my bestie live there, but so does my cousin! And we had FUN. But apparently "rested" is not one of my looks.

I walked out of the bedroom this morning and Brock looked at me and said, with alarm, "Are you okay? You look like you just slept for a month in a cave!"

AAAAAANNND.... welcome home!
*He mopped the entire house before I came home, I'll let this one slide.


The weekend consisted of many things, including but not limited to: bumping into an old friend at the airport AND being on the same flight, a seedy Irish Bar in the Spanish district (naturally), a gay martini bar (naturally), the beach, Muir Woods, Sausalito, lots of laughter, shoes, sunshine, my San Francisco zit (the same one that was on my chin 3 years ago in San Francisco), great food, attractive people,  not-so-attractive people, the phrase "I'm not going to be your ex boyfriend's cunty ghost!" which cued more laughter, cute dog sightings, some magic and very little sleep. It was just what the doctor ordered.

Ahhhh. Sunshine, you make my heart smile. Did I mention that it was green there and things were blooming???? Double AHHHHH.

I spent DAYS packing for my trip. I planned outfits. I bought a new dress. I had my beloved boots stitched. I was READY for the CITY. Then I had a dream that I was mugged, so I then strategized how to carry my money and how to get to said money when it was in my boots, with skinny jeans tucked inside. Hmmm. I thought a lot about the potential mugging. It was not working with my outfits. Then I called Sarah and told her about my anti-mugging plan and confessed that I was considering leaving my wedding ring at home. She said, "Now you are just being a stupid, scared, small town girl." I laughed and thanked her for virtually slapping me back into reality over the the cell phone. I wore my ring and vowed to kick any potential mugger in the groin with my newly stitched badass boots. Done.

So anyway.... I was never mugged. Probably because I blended in so well with the locals by attaching my camera to my face and snapping pictures of EVERYTHING. 145 to be exact.

But I only took relevant and artistic pictures, like these:

I call this "a mural" while my bestie said it was graffiti.
We agreed to disagree.
I say "Trust No Hoe"is a "Mural" of Wisdom.

This is just how I roll. Most people are used to it by now...

Later, we kicked off our shoes and walked through the sand so that I could meet up with my cousin and her new boyfriend. He is a ship g e n i u s. We decided that if you say genius slowly, it is hilarious. Or maybe I decided that. I also found it funny how much the sound of the ocean waves on the beach resembled the ocean setting on my sound machine. I was almost lulled to sleep, but instead I chose to stay awake, talk incessantly and make crude jokes. I like for my first impression on people to be truthful.

Cuz I'm a g e n i u s like that.
My cousin and her main squeeze.....
also known as "the cuteness".
Oh mah Gawd! Then I saw actual flowers that were growing out of the ground and had my friend snap my picture by them. I later looked at the picture and almost was struck blind. I had no idea that human flesh could be that white. Mama needs some Vitamin D.

Are your retinas burned yet?

We later ate at a lovely restaurant near the beach and watched the sun set over the water. It was just horrible scenery.

Blech. It was awful. But I ate flour less chocolate cake and overcame....

The next day, we went to the enchanted Muir Woods where I spent hours searching for a four-leaf clover. You see, the fact that I have yet to find one is clearly a mistake, as I am something like 1/8 Irish . Turns out I spent my time staring at sorrel, not clover, and it also turns out that I may be 1/2 mentally defective.

I did, however, spot the rare and elusive leprechaun.
Look! That one lives in the trunk!

There's one! Peeking through the trees!

And in case you are not a believer~ can anyone but a leprechaun do THIS?

Jump back, Michael Flatly!


I did notice an extreme lack of children in the city and I was feeling baffled, but then my bestie explained it to me: "There aren't a lot of children here because half of the population doesn't reproduce." Palm to forehead. Doi.


I experienced the ultimate San Francisco finishing touch when I was exiting the BART subway to get on the air train at SFO. I walked up the stairs and saw that the designer of the space had decorated the entire stairwell with these dangly, shiny round sequins. It was perfectly San Francisco, as it was explained to me, "Everything is a little magical here because the fairies run around and sprinkle fairy dust everywhere."

I love fairies.

25 comments:

  1. Looks like a fabulous trip, BUT all this build up about the boots, and no photos of said boots!!

    Am thinking 'trust no hoe' are just the sort of words of wisdom that should be embroidered on a sampler...

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    1. Haha- I didn't get any from the trip! I have put pictures on here of the boots before- brown B.O.C. with a heel. I'll take a picture soon of the awesome designer dress that I bought for the trip to wear with the boots (I didn't even get to wear it while I was there!)

      I think that you are right about the sampler. Off to talk to the Cotton Floozy.....

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    2. Also, I do think that Hoe with an "e" is a garden tool, which makes it even funnier to me.

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    3. EXACTLY!! Misspelled graffiti is teh best!
      My favorite from high-school was a leather jacket with 'i love satin' (guessing he meant Satan, but who am I to presume?)
      There was an overpass with 'party harty' emblazoned across it that Mr. B likes to reminisce about as well.

      Ooooooooooh!! Excited to see the dress! I can not keep ALL of your boots straight, I simply accept that they are all awesome-sauce :D

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    4. Don't you wish that you lived near me so that we could still share shoes? :)
      "I love Satin" made my morning. I'm crying over here. That must have been one BAD ASS MOFO with a serger and an inclination for shiny things. I'll bet his drawers said "Sequins are Hawt."

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  2. Dang - wish we could have crossed paths! So glad you had fun in The City :-)

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    1. I'll be back! We'll get together the next time- I promise. Plus, Napa is on my list and not far from you.... right?

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  3. Sounds like a great trip. Happy for you that you were able to get away for a few days.

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    1. Thanks Brett. It was great to get away, and even better, it was great to come home. :)

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  4. In that first picture up there, you know, the one with the bridge? One of those curves up in the Marin Headlands is the spot my husband proposed to me. (Awwwwww!!) It was magical. We were overlooking the city just as the sun had set (we missed sunset by just a few minutes).

    I am so glad you got to have lots of fun with your own personal fairy. Err, leprachaun. A kids free weekend, even if it is not restful, is completely rejuvenating in my opinion. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. We drove right up that road. That is so awesome!

      I did have fun! For sure!

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  5. That close to Napa Valley and you didn't go wine tasting. Shame on you. Muir Woods, Awesome place. Looks like you had fun! I want to go back...

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    1. It was talked about. Next time.
      More importantly, did you get the dress?

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  6. I'm pretty jealous at this moment. No kid spotting! As a 2nd grade teacher that would be my dream vacation! :) Welcome back though

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    1. I found myself wanting to see children, so I had a martini and I felt better.
      And thank you. It is good to be home.

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  7. Wish I wasn't living a life of abject poverty and could have joined you. :( We have green growing things here right now too...and daffodils...and crocus...I'm just sayin'.

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    1. I wish you weren't either. But at least you have a lot of meat now.
      And Nice on the growing things. I'll come and see YOU next March. We'll go shoe shopping and mock people. It will be grand.

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  8. My jealousy burns like a thousand suns.

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    1. I wish that I could apologize with sincerity. Since I can't, let me just say that your hair looks nice today.

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  9. oooooh. You funny. I gots my eye on you now.

    xoxo The Competition

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    1. Our friends being aggravated that we asked them to vote every day?

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