On second thought, I don't think any of us care to know what the other sex does when they get out of the house and together with their homies, just as long as they don't drive drunk or eat the last brownie when they get home.
But I'm going to tell you a tiny bit about women anyway, because I'm a oversharer like that.
One of my girls and I went to check out new eyeglass frames. It was completely necessary since my precious little one busted mine, and everyone knows that one cannot pick out glasses ALONE. No. One NEEDS a second opinion or may end up looking like Phillip Seymour Hoffman playing Capote, thinking that they look artsy and interesting, when in fact they look like that creepy guy that works in Spencer's at the mall......
|Not funky... just scary.|
Oh, and the glasses are bad too.
We entered the building and proceeded to turn into 13 year old girls. We laughed and snorted as we browsed the mostly empty store (because everyone else that normally shops there was at home putting their children to bed) and found all kinds of treasures.... hats, scarves, cute shoes and tops, adorable baby girl clothes (we both birthed boys), and home decor. We had an opinion about everything.... ranging from "ooooo! CUTE!" to "those are ridiculous" to "it looks like you peed on the floor right there" to "I'm glad that you are in therapy". We tried on the merchandise and made inappropriate remarks to one another:
|So very coy, milady.....|
|I think that this will be my new look.|
Now all I need is a convertible car, some designer
shoes and the Paparazzi following me....
or maybe just a straight jacket.
Then we went back to my house and Brock installed a new headlamp in her car.
I know. Exciting. Sorry to ruin the fantasy for all you dudes who think we dress up in the PINK section from Victoria's Secret while sucking frosting off each other's fingers and having a pillow fight. It's more about dick jokes, shoes and complimentary color palettes.
Madlibs fun: I want to see if you all are as sick and twisted as my girlfriend up there in the bonnet.
Finish this sentence:
Clerk: Do you need a bag for that?
Me: No, I'll just put it in my___________. (noun)
Thanks for playing.
! Answer revealed upside down at the bottom of this page!*
*No, it isn't, and if you turned your computer over and looked then you are officially as blonde as I was today when I tried pushing the WASH 'button' on a poster at the car wash. If there was a video camera present, I'll have to change my name and go into a relocation program.