Monday, January 23, 2012

So this is what it has come to....

Almost a week ago (Saturday before last), Brock graciously gave me an entire half a day ALL TO MYSELF. Honestly, he gave me as much time as I needed, seeing as I was reduced to tears around 5pm that Fried-day (pun intended). I only needed half a day (with some retail therapy included) and I was right as rain again.

He took the Things and the pets out of my hair to the yard to "burn some stuff" and I looked around my empty home and pondered what to do with myself.

My options were unlimited, but it was clear to me what the first thing on the agenda was.

So I cleaned up the breakfast dishes.

Then I exercised for as long as I wanted to. After watching a DVRed episode of Glee while on the treadmill, I did about 20 minutes of yoga in my bedroom. Of course I couldn't find my 'zen space' because every time I did downward facing dog or a forward fold, all I could think about is how much dog hair and OMG WHAT IS THAT???? was on the rug, but I did the stretches none the less.

Next it was time for a shower.... alone. And all of us overworked, overtired, under stimulated stay at home parents know what 'alone shower time' is code for.

This is supposed to be a sexy shower picture.
Is it working for you?

That's right, I did something that I had been NEEDING to do for some time.

I was overdue.

Because, in the words of Anya Marina, "I like a little dirty with my clean".

So I tiptoed through the house and went to the den of information called the Internet, where I looked up.......... the recipe I had seen on Pinterest for homemade shower cleaner. Bow Chicka Now Now.

*One part heated vinegar to one part blue Dawn dish soap, mix, shake and spray.

And I scrubbed that S.O.B. until the smelly black crap on my tile was gone. And I skinned my thumb in the process which now seems to be infected. But that's okay because that stuff really worked on my shower.

And THAT is apparently how I roll now. Someone help me.

The Shower Goddess,
*For those of you unfamiliar with Anya Marina; presenting "Sociopath":


  1. I get shower alone time tonight!

    People who are not mothers of children who are toddlers or have been toddlers, just do not understand.

  2. I get my shower alone time while the kids are still sleeping, I hate the early awake but enjoy the quiet house.

  3. You used your free time to CLEAN AND EXERCISE?!?!

    Who BROKE you? Who?

  4. Blakes just started his degree in Naturopathy. Like yesterday.

    It seems he has decided that because he has to work part-time AND study, he can't do anything to help out around the house anymore.

    FUCK. THAT. While I fully support his right to study & commit to his degree, he isn't getting out of doing his bit around the house.

    Who am I kidding. I do it all anyway.

    PLus side, I now get to watch as much 'bullshit' tv (as he affectionately puts it)as I want. HUzzah!

    Thanks for letting me vent.
    Glad you got some alone time. Even if you didn't really rub one out in the shower.


  5. I have started giving my short people white vinegar and scrub sponges when they're in the bath so they can scrub the tile. They're either too young or too stupid to know that it's actual "work" and my shower and tub are glistening and April fresh. Huzzah, child labor!

  6. @jess- will you be scrubbing the tile or doing something more useful?
    @backwoods- I loathe mornings with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, but I hear you on the quiet time.'
    @jo- I DON'T KNOW but I'm pretty sure I need a vacation STAT.
    @bex- brock always insists that he'll clean stuff, but by the time he gets around to it I've been staring at the mess and loathing him for at least 24 hours. it is better for everyone involved if i just do it myself. and i love bullshit tv.
    @jen- NICE MOVE! I need to try that.

  7. It's great that you got some me time. I do that, too. When the hubs takes the kids out, it gives me time to get some stuff around the house done without constant distraction. I love it when I can feel productive around the house. It always feels like I am just living in a swirling cauldron of chaos and mess at all times. I love to try to get some shit done. Good for you for dong your thang!

  8. @misty- Thanks for understanding my need to not shower with mold and the desire to clean a mess and have it stay clean for more than 5 minutes. That doesn't make me OCD, does it?

  9. I've somehow tricked my hubby that it is his job to clean the bathroom and that it has to be done to my standards.. I'm still not sure how I achieved this feat but I'm going to roll with it for as long as I can..

    and I'm with Jo here.. you used your free time to clean and exercise... really??

  10. When I had toddlers running around, the last thing on my mind when I got into the shower alone was anything remotely related to masturbation.

    I found it was the perfect place to catch a nap. Until the hot water ran out, that is.

  11. @Chemgirl- Wow. I'm impressed. You should seriously write a manual on that because I would buy it.
    And, I know. I'm sad about what it has come down to....
    @Jayne- Oh yeah. I need a bigger water heater.

  12. I use my "free" time to run errands and wash the car, and fix things in the house. I totally understand.

  13. You are my hero. An overachieving yogi, shower cleaner extraordinaire of a hero.

  14. Heated vinegar and Dawn dish soap? I can't wait to shower alone now!

  15. @Brett- We are sad. Maybe we could hang out together and clean the windows sometime.
    @Liz- You may want to look into getting better heroes.... lol!
    @Phoenix- It really did work and we have natural stone tile in there (and a septic system)so one has to be careful about what one uses to clean things with....

  16. I'm impressed with how productive you were with your alone time. If we were all that hard-working the world might be very different place.