Saturday, January 28, 2012

Sexy Beasts in the Water.

Speaking of swimsuits, Thing 1 had a field trip to the swimming pool yesterday. I was about as excited about a public pool as I was for my last trip to the crotch doctor, so naturally I sent Brock. He had already contracted a rash on his arms from the hot tub at the gym, so I figured he was the most prepared for the public pool with a bunch of 4 year old children, who I'm pretty confident peed in the pool directly upon arrival.

Something that might surprise you all is that my sweet, mild tempered Brock has a little issue with Authori-TAY. Specifically the 'punk-ass kids who try to tell me what to do' sort of authority. People like campus cops, nuns and lifeguards. I think this is shocking and horrible. (Cut to me basically giving a campus cop the finger for pulling me over because I wasn't wearing a seat belt as I drove ONE BLOCK back to my house after delivering some artwork to the Art Building. And no, he did not give me a ticket. He wrote me a warning and when he handed it to me I said, "No thanks, you can keep it".)

So Brock is relaxing in the hot tub with Thing 1, who is still wearing his arm floaties AND inner tube. This does not surprise me, as he also has been wearing them around the house for the past three days. A young lifeguard strolls over and instructs Brock to remove the inflatable devices as they are choking hazards when in contact with hot water. Brock tells him that they are no where near the child's neck and goes on with his hot tubbing. Later, a different lifeguard comes over and instructs Brock to remove the inflatable devices as they are taking up too much room in the hot tub. Brock tells lifeguard that there are only 2 adults in the hot tub and he thinks that there is plenty of room.

He says he was in the right and the lifeguards were power hungry fools. I say they were just doing their job as they were instructed to do, and he's a dream crusher. And yes, I'm aware that I am a hypocrite and I'm okay with that.

The inflatable devices remained on the child the entire trip and Thing 1 had some great father/son bonding time where he learned all about disrespecting authority swimming.

On that note, I have two you tube videos that I would like to share today. They both made me laugh in an unexpected way. Make sure and watch the second all the way to the end because it IS the awesomesauce.

Happy Saturday. We will be staying home, where the snot is flowing freely from both of the Thing's noses. I guess we will have to hold off on that Europe trip for another week or two.

Peace, Love and funny dudes splashing around in the water,


  1. My last experience at a public pool involved having a life guard request my friend wear shirt because his full back tattoo might be scary to some of the other swimmers. There was nothing offensive on his back, it was just very large.

    My friend put one on, but as the day went on, he decided it was stupid and removed it. When the lifeguard approached to tell him to put it back on, my friend shot him a look that stopped him in his tracks.

  2. I just hate having to find a swim suit that1) looks good 2) is appropriate for swimming with my kids and doesn't make me look I'm trying to be sexy 3) doesn't make me look like a grandma. I try and avoid the situation all together!

  3. Can't see the first one, but that second one was, um . . . uplifting? The end was pretty funny, though.

    And yeah, I always task the hubs with pool duty. My ass ain't getting in a swimsuit & swimming around with those kids. That is all daddy.

  4. That's funny about Brock and the lifeguards! I also have a little problem with authority that I learned from my dad. Who was a police man. Ironic, I know.

  5. Swimsuit? What's that?

    I've never heard of it before and I certainly as hell will never put one on.