Then I realized that it was just Brock, doing his special sleep breathing and I rolled over and shut off my brain.
I know that I poke fun of my husband a lot. I do. And some of you may think I do it to much so I have something to say to you, which is: "If you knew him in person, you would do the same thing, just like all of my friends do. Plus he once told me that I had big ankles while we were in a shoe store and I am still making him pay for that, and will continue to until The End of Time."
My ankles are perfectly normal, thank you for wondering. (After that comment I fucking willed them to be delicate and ladylike. Fuck yeah, I did.)
Brock also strutted around for the first four years of our relationship proclaiming that he was going to write a book about common sense! Yet, just the other day I asked him to throw some potatoes in the oven to bake (I was buying groceries and one of those wonderful rotisserie chickens for dinner). When I returned home after an hour, he was frustrated because his potatoes still felt hard and uncooked. So we baked them longer and waited. Later, when I was preparing the plates for dinner, I noticed that he had indeed wrapped them in foil (as I instructed) and he had also pierced them, as I told him to. I knew this before I took off the foil, because he pierced the potatoes through the foil.
Common Sense? Hello?
I spent the next 20 minutes digging tiny pieces of metal out of our food so that our intestines won't set off the metal detector at the airport.
A book on common sense- huh? Maybe before he pens one, he could read one.*
*But don't ask me to write it, I'm an idiot.
Fortunately, what Brock lacks in natural instinct in the kitchen and commenting on the body parts of women , he makes up for in child and pony whispering (and hoof trimming and building stuff and more stuff).
As proof, I offer this photo from yesterday.
|Dr. Brock Wagner, Child and Pony Whisperer|
Watch for his show coming soon to TLC.
Not really, but how awesome would that be?
There is nothing else here to see.