Friday, December 2, 2011

Winter Schminter.

This happened today.

Isn't it serene and lovely?

Don't be deceived. To my left, just out of the picture frame was a flailing, screaming, snot covered Thing 2, who had lost one boot in the snow and was frustrated by his mittens. Miraculously, he left his hat on his head (probably because the mittens didn't allow him to whip it off and toss it over his head; currently a favorite move of his.) but he was crying so loudly that I had to put the ponies back in their pen and get him inside. And when I say "put" the ponies in their pen, I mean I had to DRAG Blizzard across the yard because he had found green grass under that snow and was protesting the lock up. Nothing looks more sane and graceful than a grown woman dragging two stubborn little ponies through the snow. Moments earlier, Thing 1 had a full blown meltdown because Brock and I insisted that he wear a long sleeved shirt to preschool. I know. Torture. Good thing no one else was in the house because it was cRaZy up in here. Oh wait, Isai, the Dish Network guy was here. In fact, I heard him use the word "loco" when he was on the phone. I really don't speak Spanish, but I'm sure he followed it up with the Spanish word for "awesome", because everyone knows that we are "crazy awesome"..... right?  Hello?

I hate winter, not so much the snow or the cold, but because my children are a couple of tiny terrorists and going outside with them is painful for everyone involved. Especially me.

It really is pretty. Look at that blue blue sky.
No one does whore frost like Colorado. And do you see that satellite dish?
It's new and I now have access to Project Runway. Hell yeah!
Hey kids, mommy is busy. Who wants cereal for dinner???

So what do I do, with two screaming children and a raging hangover from those devilishly delicious Ginger Crescent Martinis that I discovered last night on our date night? I invite my friend over with her two screaming children and we sit in the kitchen in a mom coma, ignoring our children, drinking water and talking about clothes. Occassionally one of us would yell "No tattling!" or "Work it out yourselves!" in the general direction of the noise. That's right. Crazy Awesome.

And then there is this.....

Enjoy. He's a total turd. And he's all mine (and Brock's, of course).

Peace, Love and Evil Laughs,


  1. The evil laugh! Now that IS crazy awesome!

  2. And winter sucks - we don't even get the benefit of the blue sky to trick you into thinking it's pretty.

  3. I love love LOVE Colorado skies. Your stories of Estes bring back great memories of the Highland festival, the Wheel, and drinking with the English Jousting team.

    I am looking forward to snow and I'm not. I love the look winter brings to the depressing trees, but I like to observe it from my recliner with something warm to drink. And the new puppy isn't a big fan of outside the way it is... it may be a long winter.

  4. My horse hates the snow. I tried to take him carolling in it once. He did his best donkey impression leaving the barn: legs splayed, ears pinned, lip curled, and then bucked, bolted and otherwise acted a fool at the first two houses. I gave up after he WAITED until I was raising the hot apple cider to my mouth and then deliberately spooked at nothing so I'd spill it all over myself.

    They say the longer you own a horse, the more they come to resemble you in personality. It makes me a little sad that my horse is a devious, vengeful little shit sometimes.

  5. Can't see the video but I assume he is adorable as always.

    And I don't know what you are talking about . . . I LOVE Winter!! Except for the cold . . . and the snow . . . and the wind . . . and the heavy clothing . . . and having to convince my kids to wear said heavy clothing . . . and heavy winter coats, hats, scarves and gloves . . . and having hands that get so chapped and red and bleedy that I look like I was in a bar brawl. So yeah, winter rocks!! :)

    Oh, and awesome in spanish is awesome-o. Just add an O. Everyone knows that! And I'm sure that is exactly what he said.

  6. @moxie- i agree on all levels.
    @Kelly- I don't mind snow. Okay, yes I do. I just don't like dead stuff all winter.... or to be cold.
    @Heather- My horse used to run his teeth over the metal gate *ZIng!* and now I am clenching and grinding my teeth at night.
    @Misty- Boo-o on not-o being able to see-o the video-o. See? I speak-o Spanish.