Sunday, October 16, 2011

You had me at "Compression"

I may not know anything about rocket science, diesel engines or acceptable and appropriate social interactions, but one thing that I do know about is yoga pants. As a stay at home mom, I actually feel as if I am a bit of an expert in the field of lounge clothes ....uh.... I mean, active wear. Unfortunately, my "expert" status was in danger of being downgraded to an apprentice level due to the condition of the majority of my work-out clothing.

 
My:
  • Sad,
  • Stretched out,
  • Two wearings from that embarrassing "I had no idea that there was a hole in the crotch- if I did I would not have been sitting like that all day....or at least I would have worn better underwear.",
  • Ten years old
exercise pants.

 
So I noticed that Old Navy was having a sale on something that they call Compression and Moisture Wicking Active Wear and I thought, "Hey! I love Old Navy! That is where I first went to create an actual summer wardrobe that didn't consist of a pair of cut off jeans that I found homeless in a dryer at a laundromat. Let's go!" So I called my friend Sarah, my partner in crime walking partner and fellow wearer of yoga pants, and made a super special kid-free date to buy new yoga pants. As a mom of two and someone over the age of "I work out every day", the word compression was the equivalent of "Hello Lover", and as an enthusiastic sweat-er, I saw moisture wicking and thought "Hey! Interview clothes!". So off Sarah and I power walked to our local Ft. Collins Old Navy. Okay, we drove, but I pretty much live in the country.



Hello! It's me (the blonde) and Sarah (the non-blonde) and
our owl cake masterpieces.

 
I feel that I should lead this shopping story with some background information on the evolution of my work-out clothes.

I'm from a tiny farming town of 600, give or take a few chickens. Like most kids, my fashion knowledge was basically limited to what I saw on the people around me. My family raised horses so that narrowed my expertise even more (I could cover jeans and boots. End of my fashion story.) So when my mom went to the local community center to work out in an aerobics class which was instructed by my aunt, her outfits would consist of items from the dregs of her closet: sweatpants, a gnarly sweatshirt that probably doubled as "fence painting clothes", and her old high school cheerleader sneakers which also moonlighted as painting gear. She didn't buy weights, because that would have been a frivolous purchase (never mind that we owned over 200 horses and standard horse gear for each of them), so she used either two milk jugs filled with water or sand, or a couple of #2 cans of food- preferably peaches.

Because the hoarding apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I was able to recreate this small town aerobics class circa 1984 look for all of you. I even threw in a few classic aerobics moves. You. Are. Welcome.



Feel the burn!


The grapevine (with an audience). A timeless classic.


Bicep curls! Don't forget to breathe!


At the time (and place) that my mother wore something like this, no one batted an eye. However, if I wore this into public in a city like Ft. Collins, I'm pretty sure that people would either try to give me their change or walk in wide circles around me in fear of me striking up a conversation with them (or my imaginary friend).

Minus the hat and fox...uh...er...rabbit? pelt, I would be the equivalent of the man who calls himself "White Owl" that roams Old Town Ft. Collins. Sarah has befriended him, naturally.



Sarah and her new friend White Owl.
This is simply too much awesome. I have no other words to describe it.
 So when I moved out of my small town and realized that people actually purchase things like "active wear" instead of rustling through their husband's closet to find something clean to borrow, I bought some pieces that I thought were cute. Then I wore them through a couple of pregnancies and stretched them to oblivion. On the upside, when the grocery cart is full, there is always room in the back of my pants for that extra loaf of bread. On the downside, I still don't look good, but I don't look quite bad enough that people try to give me money.



Sexy.
"Excuse me ma'am, you're going to have to pay for that
 hoagie roll in your pants."
And no, that is not my husband's chair. Thanks for wondering.

So clearly I needed help... and a mentor (and probably a sponsor). Then Sarah and I pulled up to our local Old Navy.



I feel like this picture deserves its own musical score.
 We promptly made friends with the staff.


I'm normally a hugger, but I opted for a simple hand holding.
She was really sweet. And I'll bet her dog doesn't chase cars.




We don't get out much.....


Actually we were greeted by true staff members in a helpful and non-pushy way, which in my opinion is the best way to be greeted upon entering a store. Don't try to talk me out of my cash immediately, just a simple "Hello! How are you today? Let me know if I can assist you with anything!", which is exactly what we got from at least three different associates. Of course we were side tracked at first by the trendy new fashion arrivals, but once we pulled ourselves away from the cute grey skinny jeans and snazzy sweaters, we followed a chalk-drawn hopscotch board to the active wear section.

We had no problem finding our sizes in a clean, well-organized space where the great deals were clearly marked with signs. We then loaded up our selections and were off to the dressing room for the real test: FIT.

The sizing was typical for what both of us generally buy, but the super stretchy fabric enabled you to go down in size as well. Sarah, who wears a size large, tried on a small to attempt to show me a "what not to do" but her plan backfired, because it actually looked hot on her and did nothing in the form of the dreaded "uni-boob" or "muffin top". In truth, the entire compression line really did seem to enhance each of our assets without pushing our Mom-flesh around in unappealing ways. The look of fitness without the actual fitness! Wahoo! Who doesn't want that?



Here is Sarah modeling clothes in a smaller size than what
she normally buys. No weird fleshy bulges.
Winning!

Showing off our "assets". We are normal. I promise.
*cough*
Thanks to Kim, the General Manager at Old Navy Ft. Collins,
 for snapping this photo!
 We tried a few different looks, which worked well on both of us despite our size differences, and were quite pleased with the low prices. For instance, later the same day I found a similar pair of pants at a different store for $75. Old Navy had their pants priced at $25 during the sale. Trendy, functional and affordable= Triple Threat!



This outfit was by far my favorite, and not just because
it made me look like a Ninja.
Okay, it is because it made me look like a Ninja.
 Overall it was a non-stressful shopping success and a great day out for a couple of boring old moms who are now going to look fierce strutting down Spring Creek Trail with our strollers and screaming precious and well-mannered children.



Watch out Ft. Collins~
You can thank Old Navy!

 Peace, Love and Compression Garments,
Johi

22 comments:

  1. I tried on some of their compression line a couple weeks ago.. but couldn't find anything in my size... I guess everyone else had already bought out their line.. I'll have to go back once they've stocked their shelve again.

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  2. They were fully stocked yesterday, I'm sure they replensihed for this Active Wear Event that they are having now.

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  3. Your blog hates me today and won't let me comment. Testing, testing...

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  4. Okay, anyway . . .

    I really need workout clothes. I mean, primarily for the car-rider line, but also for my occasional jog around the 'hood. I have a serious case of "baggy butt" pants.

    Tell Sarah I'm jealous of her boobs, and the ninja outfit ROCKS.

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  5. See Tara? My blog loves you! And I too am jealous of Sarah's boobs.
    Ugh, the baggy butt pants.... why do they have to do that to us?

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  6. My blog may lead people to believe otherwise, but I seriously wear pajamas or my so old yoga pants that I've actually sewn the crotch back together myself pretty much most of the time. So yay stretchy clothes!
    And I really need to find myself some friends that don't live in other states. Or I need to move...
    And Brian says you look like Uma Thurman :)

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  7. Well- you have to wear something comfortable when you are doing all that sewing! And you are welcome to move here and hang out with me and my awesome friends.
    And Brian is my new favorite person. If only I were 6 feet tall like Uma....

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  8. After seeing Johi holding hands with her manequin friend, me holding my breath next to my "man"equin's junk, AND me hugging a perfectly awesome stranger in old town, you can plainly see that I cannot restrain myself from hugging everyone and everything! And I never considered myself a hugger!

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  9. You hug Thing 2 all the time, so I guess I have always considered you a hugger. But, who DOESN'T hug Thing 2?

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  10. Ah, Confessions of an Old Navy Ninja. This post was very helpful for the unemployed as well. The last time I wore "real" pants, I was very distracted by how horribly uncomfortable they were. Damn 5 year old stretched out jeans! So stiff and unyielding. And don't get me started on tailored shirts... God, it's like TORTURE.

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  11. I am easily distracted by torturous clothing as well. I feel your pain.

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  12. You both are the cutest ever in your new workout gear. Did you immediately run out and take a pilates class? Because I think the outfits would require it.

    I heard a commercial last night for Old Navy, probably for these same outfits, with the song going something like "it won't jiggle it, while you wiggle it" or some such madness. It is obviously a play on that 80's song. Pretty funny.

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  13. You totally rocked the ninja pose! Also, those owl cakes are the cutest things I have ever seen.

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  14. Old Navy should pay you two. I'm totally going over there today to get the ninja outfit.

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  15. Oh my God, we SO need to go shopping. I could introduce you and Sarah to the glory that is the P-Town 3-story H&M. The angels would weep, the heavens would open up, and the citizens of Oregon would be very, very afraid.

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  16. Huh. I thought you looked pretty good in the before photos... I really want to love old navy, but the fit is off for me. If it makes any sence I am a skinny girl with no butt and a mama pooch. The clothes are usually baggy on me in the wrong places and tight on me in worse places. You two look terrific though!

    Www.getrealmama.blogspot.com

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  17. @Misty- we immediately ran out and ate lunch, because that is how we roll.
    @Paula- I credit Sarah for the pose. It was totally her idea. That is why I keep extra people around- they make me even more awesome than I am already...
    @Jpnkn- I agree. And they did. Rock your Ninja outfit lady. Rock it hard.
    @Jen- Count me in. It is a daily goal of mine to make at least one person weep so angels would satisfy me for at least a week.
    @Tova- Thank you. *bowing with sword*
    @GetReal- Are you from my home town? lol! I don't know- you might have to try those compression pants. They are made by Wizards I think.....

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  18. You guys totally crack me up! So wish I had been there to witness. Oh, and thanks to you, my new word is "awesome sauce!"

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  19. @jesk- we are pretty fun together. I think that is why we hang out so much! And "awesomesauce" is a great new word!

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  20. OH MY GAWD! Can you imagine how awesome my life would be if *I* had a ninja outfit? The walk down to the conference room to meet with boring engineers and architects would take on a whole new meaning! In fact, I could probably drop FROM THE CEILING onto the conference table NINJA STYLE! Also, I would totally make -ing noises just like they do in the movies.

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  21. I just ran out to Old Navy the other day to pick up new workout gear! Never would have known they sold it if I hadn't read your blog post. So thank you! They fit GREAT :)

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