Saturday, October 1, 2011

Think of me when you slap a pumpkin

In case you haven't noticed, it is fall. Fall is the best season of the year. The. Best. I will challenge you to an arm wrestling match (with my sister standing in for me) if you dare to disagree.

The crisp air, the changing leaves, those big, round, orange pumpkins that you just want to slap slap slap! (Or is that just me?) It is fucking magical. Plus, I can be my true witchy self and everyone just thinks that I am in costume. Awesomesauce.

Now....where is my broom?

Today we decorated for Halloween at the Wagner house. And here is where I tell you that my husband has collected an entire Halloween Village. It is a small village: only three houses, but that is about all I can handle.

For Erin H., because you love this as much as Brock.

As we were ignoring the the Things  he was removing his cherished haunted treasures from the Styrofoam packaging, I was making a creepy decorative gourd arrangement on our entertainment center, complete with an eerie drawing I made in high school of my great grandparents. I didn't intend for it to be ghoulish, but it kind of is...



Great Grandpa's eyes follow you a little....
My ceramic gourds made me remember something that a friend directed me to a few years ago; something that is even better than pumpkin lattes, haunted villages, ghostly pictures, football and the sweet smell of nutmeg and decaying leaves in the air. Please, for the love of all things fiercely wicked, read this post (preferably out loud in a dramatic voice to someone who understands comedy) from the Timothy McSweeny website: it's decorative gourd season motherfuckers

You can thank me later.

Until then, enjoy autumn and please slap a pumpkin. I think you'll discover a new source of joy. I really do.

Peace, Love and Decorative Gourds,


  1. Here is a little gift: Seemed apropos. :)

  2. OMG that's hilarious! I honestly didn't even see your link. I'm such a doofus! LOL

  3. I love it how we think the same!

  4. I loves me some gourd-smackin'! Halloween is the bomb-diggity. It's the only day where I don't get crap for dressing like a slut and eating Rolos for dinner. YIPPEE!

  5. You've actually inspired me to do something other than my bale of hay and pumpkin on the front porch Halloween decorating.

  6. Those decorations are really cute. I love Halloween, we are having our first ever costume party this Halloween so I've been scoping out decorations for a few months now.

  7. Halloween is my second favorite holiday. Used to be first, but the hubs is so darn holly goddamn jolly at Christmas, he has converted me into a follower, rather than a scrooge.

    We actually went apple picking this weekend. Yep, that's right, a whole family outing picking apples. How falltastic is that shit? Then, you will never guess . . . I baked!! It was just a measley apple crisp, super duper easy, but still. Usually, I DO NOT BAKE! But I had to do something with those apples, and it turned out pretty good, especially with a big ole scoop (or 3) of vanilla ice cream on top. Yum! So, I guess what I'm saying is, bring on Fall!! Can't wait to go pick pumpkins and decorate the house. :)

  8. @Jen- People judge you for stuff like that? Damn, I'm screwed.
    @tonya- I have always had aspirations of being a muse.... :)
    @Paula- I am really excited to create our costumes this year. I'm sure there will be pictures....
    I love Christmas.
    I Love Halloween.
    I like them both in my suit of green.
    Apple picking and apple crisp both sound divine!
    Now I am craving a glass of wine! (I made a poem for you, Misty. Now let's hug.)

  9. @Misty- I totally made myself laugh with the hug comment. Damn, I think I'm funny.

  10. You are funny. I giggled and cringed at the same time! And your poetry skills are da bomb diggity. Mad props! :)

    I can't remember the last time anyone wrote me a poem. Johi . . . are you wooing me? Cuz if so, the answer is YES!