Friday, October 7, 2011

Love Letters and Other Demands

Here is where I tell you that both of my boys are pretty dang cute. I know every mom thinks this, but I KNOW this because the only people who don't smile at Thing 2 are with service dogs and Thing 1 got his first love letter today at preschool. His admirer is blonde, adorable and full of sass, so obviously I approve. Plus she is a take-charge kind of gal, which I dig. For instance, instead of asking "Will you marry me?" she wrote "I'm going to marry you." Like....*check* husband business handled! Now onto which My Little Pony I am going to play with....

I covered her name for privacy.
I love everything about this, especially the "I like you really much".
And check out her penmanship. She is FOUR years old.
This looks way nicer than my grocery list.

This precious little blonde's mother also told me that her child was planning on "showing Thing 1 their basement." When this mother inquired what her child was planning on showing my little boy, her little girl answered "that is a secret". Then her mom told me that they needed to stop listening to Katy Perry and Ke$ha. Then I decided that her mom was going to be my new friend.

As I was admiring the letter, we were all talking and started walking outside to take our kids to the playground. I was outside, around the corner of the building when I had the nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. You know that feeling: Something isn't right here. Something feels wrong. What is missing?.... Then I realized that the "something" that I was missing was only my baby.

Oh My GOD. What is WRONG with me????

I ran back inside and quickly found Thing 2 in the classroom, charming all of the preschool teachers. I can't quite describe to you how I felt at the moment, but it was a mixture of relief, horror and "I'm a total asshat, please bring me a bucket of water so that I can drown myself now".

In that moment, my truth was brought to light_-that nagging thing that I had been fearing. Forgetting my child was that tiny confirmation that I am in utter burn out mode and I really need a break from my life. Just for half a day. Just a little time for me to walk through a crowd without worrying about Stranger Danger or my kids running away. No entertaining anyone. No screaming. No whining. I need a bit of time to eat a meal (my entire meal) in peace, without complaints, screams (did I mention this already?), food on the floor, food on the head, food being grabbed from my hand or food on the ceiling. A little quiet time away so that I can shower and breathe and feel rejuvenated. A small healthy break so that I am recharged and fully prepared to not only meet the demands of MOM, but to also, once again, enjoy those demands

I'm going to call a friend and get some of that tomorrow, because I officially declare Saturday the 8th of October "MOM'S DAY OFF". Go tell your friends. *Someone please email this to my husband.

Feel free to follow my lead. Do it soon, before you too get so brain damaged and comatose that you accidentally leave your child/children in the school/grocery store/park or at home alone with the dog. Besides, I know that I have earned it. Half my work is done. I already have one of my kids married off. Yay me.

This is Thing 1 with a different girlfriend.
I hope he can keep their names straight....
 Peace, Love and Stellar Parenting,


  1. Christ, this morning I paid the short people a dollar to not say the word "Mommy" until they were shipped off to school. Fortunately Gil finally remembered that he has children and offered to take them for the weekend so I won't go all Andrea Yates on their cute little asses. October 8th I will be there, virtual "mocktail" in hand. I'll even bring cupcakes if you let me ride your ponies.

  2. that little love note is direct and to the point. love it! enjoy your few hours of you time tomorrow!

  3. I'd like to start by saying that I am not a parent, but do have 2 neurotic, clingy pets (cat & dog) and am a 15x-over Auntie. (Although my siblings know I am not good with pre-verbal children, they keep poppin' 'em out!) Usually there are more people in my house, but the other two have gone away for 6 weeks, leaving me as the sole human. The massively-dependent, sooky pets have been - apparently - glued to my leg. If this is a trial run for human parenting, I think I failed when I shut the cat in a cupboard so she would leave me alone FOR FIVE FREAKING MINUTES!! The dog is more passive-aggressive - he just slinks off casting guilt-inducing reproachful looks in my direction.

    Anyhoo, what was my point? Oh, yes: almost every Saturday is my sister-in-law's child-free day. My brother, who works all week, takes the 3yo & 5mo out for the whole day... to my house, where there is Wifi, a box of kids' toys & space for 2 porta-cribs. So his wife gets to spend Saturdays sleeping, or going to the hairdresser, or seeing adult humans who can speak in complete sentences without whining. Kudos, little brother - but does it HAVE to be at my house?!

  4. Did you notice that she used the correct 'too'? If your Thing 1 ever messes up his chances with her, I have a five year old that I would like her to meet...

  5. Oh, my. Four years old and already trying to show boys her basement?

  6. That letter is so sweet! She could really give my 7 year old some handwriting pointers!

  7. I so know this burned out feeling. I really hope you got Saturday all to yourself, but with sick kids, it sounds like that might not have happened? Maybe you should try to plan a weekend away with your hubby. I know this past weekend was really nice for me, just for the getting away from it all and reconnecting purposes. Hope you can find time to do that as well.

    Also? Cutest love note ever. Your son is really the ladies man, huh? You better teach him how to be a gentleman down in that girl's "basement." :)

  8. Excellent new holiday. The question is how do we get in early and sell this idea to Hallmark for one million dollars?

  9. October 8th: I spent it celebrating my 10-yr old's birthday by going on a horse (trail) ride. We left about 6:30pm when the sun was setting and rode through the woods in the dark, with only the moon to guide us. Normally, I'm scared of horses (because they have teeth and can bite people) but I had the perfect horse and the perfect weather and the perfect atmosphere --- and it was almost like having a Mom's Day Off... until we got back in the car and the whining began....

  10. @Jen- I love it that you paid them. That makes me smile. Sorry "Gil" is such a douche canoe and stood up the kids. Ugh.
    @Tex- She is so cute that we drew her a picture in return. :)
    @Earley- I loved your story! Go SIL! Not so great for you though! Haha!
    @Andrea- I did! She is "too" much!
    @IfByYes- you just wait- Babby will be the same way. How could he NOT be?
    @Paula- I hear you. Thing 1 can write his name. That is all.
    @Misty- I got out with a girlfriend for a bit. The kids were stable during the day. I felt like an asshole but I quickly got over it. It was much needed and overdue.
    @Tova- ONE MILLLLLION DOLLARS! I just had to write it out because it was playing in a loop in my head. Still is.
    When you figure it out, let me know.
    @Phoenix- I'm SO proud of you!!! Yay for horses! No come over here, I want to show you my ponies....