Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Hysterical Laughing or Crying? It's a No-Brainer....

I LOVE movies. Thankfully, Brock does too, so it is a mutual bonding "activity" for us. I love sitting still for two hours and letting someone else entertain me for once to be transported to a story through visual effects, music, attractive stars and witty dialogue. I think Brock loves being in the same room with me for two hours when I am not talking. I love popcorn. I get emotionally wrapped up in plots and I love flawed characters and first kisses and chemistry. The only thing I have a hard time with is the death. Not so much adult people's deaths (because, let's face it, some people deserve to die). But when the innocents bite it, children and animals, I feel like someone is ripping out my guts.

As I have mentioned before- I may be unstable.

Is it a bad sign that I cried during the preview for the movie Dolphin Tale?

You haven't seen the preview? OMG, it's about a dolphin.... who loses his...*sniffle*..tail and people....*waiver*... believe in overcoming adversity *choke* dreaming the impossible *gasp*....

Yeah, I probably won't be able to see the movie.

I don't do well with animal or baby drama:
....which is why Snowdogs has been on my DVR for six months and I still haven't watched it (I KNOW a dog is going to die, I can sense it, and I haven't felt emotionally equipped for that in...well.... six months).
....which is why I will never again watch Old Yellar.
....which is why I bawled like a baby when I watched Return to Snowy River (yet oddly never shed a tear at Steel Magnolias)
....which is why I don't even want to discuss Benji or Where the Red Fern Grows.
....which is why I don't watch anything about kidnapping or untimely death of children- which is why I have to limit my time with Lifetime or the Hallmark channel.

So I choose comedy most of the time. Because I am a firm believer that everything can be cured with laughter (and cupcakes).

So Hysteria looks like it is right up my ally:

Seriously, the invention of the vibrator? Genius topic. How can this NOT be hysterical?

Plus, as a youngster, I went to camp with the director of the film, and she was awesome 20 years ago, so I can only assume she is even more awesome today. AND we're totally facebook friends. Awesomesauce.

Now that I know a bunch of famous people, I need to go finish the laundry, scrub that sticky mystery substance off the floor and consider showering.

What movies are on your to-do list?


  1. I want to see "The Other Woman" because I love Natalie Portman, but a baby dies in it so I would effectively be scarred for the rest of my life so I've forbidden myself from watching it.

  2. I'm exactly the same way. Especially about the babies. There's some shitty song out now called "If I Die Young" and I literally listened to the first line of the song and was like "why would anyone ever want to hear this shit?" and changed the station because no.

    I've always been sensitive to animals too, but damn, ever since I had a kid I can't even watch the news if it's something sad about a kid because I lose my shit. Little kids dying is NEVER okay. Stop playing with my emotions, Lifetime.

  3. But.... but.... the dolphin movie has a GREAT ending, according to the preview. They SAVED the dolphin's life!! Didn't they?

  4. @Paula. The Other Woman. I will be sure to put that on the list of movies I will never see. I lost a baby when I was 6 months pregnant and FUCK... why would anyone ever want to see something about a baby dying?

  5. @Paula- I love Natalie Portman too because she is a fabulous actress, which is why I would never be able to watch that movie.
    @Jaclyn- I hate the news for that excat reason. I couldn't watch it at all when I was pregnant.
    @Furry- I'm not sure, what if they didn't? Then What? I'm crying in the theatre, that's what.

  6. i couldn't watch Free Willy for the same reason. and i have scars from Where the Red Fern Grows (both book and movie) all these years later... and i cried at Sea World when the Beluga whale show began. sobbed like a baby...

  7. I sob all. the. time. Really - Folger's Coffee commercials, youtube snippets, previews, documentaries about elephants. Tears start streaming down my face, I start sniffling and wiping my nose with the sleeve of my sweatshirt (because those theaters are ALWAYS freezing) and everyone else in my family stares at me and whispers, "Get a grip! It's Yogi Bear in 3D!" I know... but... it's just so... touching....

  8. I knew that you all would understand.

  9. I hate it when you see horses used in movies for war and stuff and they end up getting shot with arrows.... last one we watched I bawled for a good 30 minutes while the bf tried to convince me that they don't use real horses for these scenes anymore and it's all CG... but all that reminded me of was that at SOME point in the movie industry they probably DID use real horses and make them fall over n shit... and I started bawling all over again....

    I feel you.

  10. The Other Woman was GOOD!!! Watch it...even though there's some childloss grief it's still worth it...Some movies are worth the tears!

  11. Oh god, kids and animals. Cannot deal with that at all in anything. Including the news. Most of all the news! I don't watch it and the hubs knows that there is a strict rule in my house NOT to mention any story he hears that involved the death or extreme pain of any child. He knows better, because I will cut him. Ok, I may need to join you in unstableville.

  12. When The Boy was young our all time favorite thing to watch was Animal Planet. We would watch the survival of lions, elephants, monkeys, Wild Beasts and Zebras in Africa. We loved Emergency Vets! And we would sit and cry together. And Husband would ask stupid questions like "Why do you watch this channel if you know you are just going to cry over the show?"

    We actually refused to let The Boy watch one episode of the Meerkat Manor show when we knew that one of them was gong to die.

  13. Just watched the movie preview (had to wait for the office to clear out) ... LOOKS SO GOOD!! I'm totally going to plan a Girl's Night and we'll go out to watch this!

  14. "Hysteria" just jumped to the top of my to-watch list! Thanks for sharing!

    I can generally handle death and other bad things in films, perhaps because I revel in the emotions I can feel vicariously and from a safe distance. Doesn't mean it won't rattle me for a while. The types of movies I CAN'T watch are those that are described even once as a "psychological thriller." Oh, and animal cruelty. Those screw with my mind and give me nightmares.

  15. Don't want to see 'The Other Woman' because I just can't get past the whole bitch-screwed-someone-elses-husband aspect of it all. Plus, Natalie Portman. No. Just. . .no. I've been soured on her since the whole Princess Armadillo or whatever the hell her name was in Star Wars. Right now the only movie I'm Jonesing after if the Footloose remake. Holla!

  16. What is this Other Woman movie? I didn't even know about it until right now. And now, I have to watch it. And probably cry a lot. Damn.

    Honestly, I just want to watch The Breakfast Club. I've never (really, I know, it's just too fucked up that I'm 31 and I've never seen it).

  17. No way! I am totally girl crushing on you too!! We are such lesbians right now. God you must see all sorts of terrible animal turd crimes living on a farm.

    I'm scared of roosters. Like squee-in-pants scared.

    FYI - squee is a mix of squirts & wee & it's nasty & it's never happened to me.

  18. OMG Where the Red Fern Grows. I think I read that when I was 10. A 10 year old boy bawling when Little Ann (or was it Big Dan) got all ripped up and died. Horrible. I could never, ever see the film. I wouldn't have time to, anyway, unless my kids want to watch it.

    And I can't have them bawling while I'm bawling. That would upset the space-time continuum.

  19. Johi: apparently I got comment crazy. Feel free to delete 1 of my 2 identical posts. Thanks!!

    Liz: get thee to a video store (or netflix queue) immediately and watch Breakfast Club. My all time favorite movie.

    Also, Johi: this has absolutely nothing to do with your post specifically, but I needed to let you know that every time I see the title of your site, I immediately start singing "Cornflake Girl" by Tori Amos. I know, not the same thing, but it just pops right in there. I figured you would need to have that information. You're welcome!

  20. I refuse to see "Marley and me", why should I? I knwo the dog will die. I don't need to SEE the dog die. the invention of the vibrator? I would Absofreakinluteley watch that.

  21. @chemgirl- OMG. Braveheart almost made me vomit.
    @Tish- I need to look up the Other Woman. I have shmaefully never even heard of it.
    @Mistyslaws- There is plenty of room here. Bring Brownies.
    @Tina- The boy sounds precious. I should have been a Vet.
    @phoenix- I know! Right?

  22. @Yvette- Oddly, I can read books and handle it better than seeing it in the movies. I guess I am only visually unstable...
    @Jen- Lol! Princess Armadillo! The 15 minutes that I watched of one of those movies almost ruined me on Ewan MacGregor, whom I adore. Natalie wasn't alone in the bad acting there. And Footloose! hells yeah!
    @ELizabeth- I am a big fan of most all things John Hughes, THe Breakfast CLub included. Although 16 candles remains my fave.

  23. @Bexstar- I no longer live on a farm. sad face. But roosters (and all other yard birds) frighten me. I'm tough like that.
    @Wag- True, someone must man up and lack emotion whilst the others are melting down. That is why God delivered my husband to me. He is such a fucking cry baby. *cough*
    @mistyslaws- I love LOVE love Tori Amos. I'll go ahead and be flattered.
    @Britt- Word.
    @PainfulSPaghetti- Umhm. I saw it. The dog was really really old so I guess I handled it better than I expected. But I'm sure the vibrator movie is happier. I'm quite certain...

  24. Do not EVER watch the movie Spirit. It's a freakin' cartoon, and still my stomach was feeling like complete shit the whole movie. I had to tell myself constantly, "#1 it's a movie, and #2 it's a freakin animated, no one was hurt in the making of this movie". But SERIOUSLY, don't watch it.