Yes, I'd like an extra large wine slushie.
Uh, we don't serve that....
Okay, I'll take one SAHM Nervous Breakdown Meal. Super-size that shit.
Um, I'm going to need to call the manager.....
The week was not kind to me. I will tell you all about it soon. Right now, I am a giant wad of emotion and fatigue and the wound is too fresh. So I would like to talk about two phone conversations that I had yesterday..... after a hell week, complete, of course, with lack of sleep and raging hormones. Again.
I'm going to get acupuncture in about an hour. Then I will have some wine and things will be fine.
The response from the other party was "You and Brock have always made fun of other people. I thought that was something that you bonded over."
I was all "Whaaat? Really? You think that? I don't recall that. I do recall ridiculing people with a friend of mine for many years, and then I started to feel bad. Don't get me wrong. We still mock everyone, just not as much. (Only because we rarely see each other) I didn't think that was what Brock and I did though...."
Then the other party then gave me a few examples (none of which I said, it was all Brockerisms).
Still, I felt like a twatwaffle.
Later, I was talking to a friend and I recounted the earlier conversation. I told her how bad I felt that people thought that I derived pleasure from laughing at others. She was that perfect person to repent this alleged part of my personality to, being a preacher's daughter and all. I thought that she would maybe pray for my salvation and sprinkle me with some holy water to wash away my sins.
Instead, she was incredulous, "What is wrong with making fun of people? My husband and I do it all the time! Making fun of people is AWESOME! In fact, I will circle around the block just to get a second look at someone! My husband will elbow me and say: Look at that! They actually looked in the mirror and thought to themselves I LOOK FINE before they left the house!"
Naturally, I snorted.
Then she went on to say "The Bible never said "Though shalt not make fun of thy neighbor"..... I'm pretty sure my Dad taught me that!"
I was laughing so hard that I was turning purple.
I said, "I leave the house looking scary all the time."
She said, "So do I! And it makes me feel great to know that my hideousness may be causing someone else pleasure!"
PSA: (Or daily tip:) Laughing at others is not only common, but condoned by a preacher in Kansas. Go forth, Laugh at others and be laughed at by others. Like, it is our civic duty and stuff.
It is good to know that I am not alone in the world.