Thursday, July 14, 2011

Confronting your fears through Google Search.

We all have fears.

I fear aging.
Shit, I'm getting older. Like, every day.

I fear losing my mind.
The phone is ringing....Where did I set the phone? Have I eaten yet? I think...wait. What was I talking about?

I fear poverty.
God doesn't love me.

Some of my fears are reasonable: snakes, clowns, Michael Bolton.... duh. Yet some of them are irrational: all the what ifs? in life, and OMG, Is that a booger?  Then there is the greatest fear of all, the one that I had during childhood. The mere sight of this terror trigger would have me screaming and sobbing and sprinting from the room, as fast as my bony legs would carry me. It was not a bug, nor was it even alive (I wish that I would have known this fact). It was this:

Introducing: Madame from Hollywood Squares.
I didn't even want to Google her image, but I did.
She is terrifying.
The sight of her still sends chills down my spine.

picture from

The worst thing in the world is when someone laughs at you for being afraid. Thanks Mom and Dad. Thanks a lot for sitting in the living room and using your "sweet" voice to beckon me, "Johi! Come in here! You will want to see this!" And then my 6 year old self comes skipping around the corner only to be confronted with Satan in red lipstick. You guys are awesome. Here is the bill from the therapist....

*And I feel like I need to apologize to my friend who fears hummingbirds for laughing at her so hard that I practically peed myself when we were sitting on a deck, being swarmed by Kamikaze Hummingbirds.... I'm a horrible person. I'm going to send her an apology by facebook message now.


  1. I have anxiety attacks over MANY "stupid" things, so being afraid of the devil in lipstick makes complete sense to me!

  2. oh, i always liked her!!! perhaps i'm more like her evilness. ha! :)

  3. I think laughing at your own fears is supposed to be good, but laughing at other people's ? Not sure ....

  4. That picture gives me the shivers. Well done, mama. =)

    the question isn't what DO i fear, it's what DON'T i fear, as I'm afraid of my own shadow. and that's not even really an exaggeration.

  5. I seriously need to write a few new posts so that I don't continue seeing her awful face when I log onto my blog.