Hence I decided to take advantage of my kid free time and return my new phone to the Verizon store! Because everyone knows that taking children to places where you potentially have to wait 30+ minutes before you even get to talk to a sales associate is as much fun as sticking a fork into your thigh! Dining out with children evokes the same feelings in both me and my husband, which is why we don't do that unless we are drunk. Anyhoo, I recently upgraded to a smart phone. I really don't know what "smart phone" means, but I suspect that it has something to do with the fact that it is "smarter" than me. I do know that I can text people now in 1/4 of the time and I have an 8 pixel camera AND Internet access. I have a KIN. I like it, but I apparently got a lemon. I don't know. Maybe your cell phone is supposed to freeze up, fade out and not respond to you when you do crazy things, like try to call or text someone... or turn it on?
So I was waiting in the store, hoping to get my problem phone replaced, when a man came and sat down beside me. Now, let me say right here that I am generally sociable, but today I really just wanted to spend some good old fashioned "time alone", to get the phone thing handled, then run over to Old Navy and get a 2011 version of my standard summer wear of an inexpensive
When I got to the counter some shifty tan dude that I think I may have seen standing on a corner holding a sign that says "No Job. Please give me all your cash." gave me his best flirtatious smile, to which I had to stop myself from snarling at. Ole' Wandering Eye wore me out and I had no desire to "make nice" with someone who was trying to pick up a married woman at the cell phone store. I JUST WANTED TO GO TO FUCKING OLD NAVY AND BUY A CHEAP MUMU FOR GOODNESS SAKE! So I talked loudly about my young Things to the sales lady and shifty dude stopped trying to make eye contact and left.
To make a long story short, they are sending me a new phone (which they had better friggin' not charge me for because I will throw a hissy fit deserving of a trophy) and I had 20 minutes to spare and was able to dart over to Old Navy where I found this year's summer dress on sale in two colors, so I purchased them both for $14.49 each, because I'm a crazy shopaholic like that. Apparently I had better think twice about wearing them out of the house because people who look like transients and old men who clearly have vision problems think that I look friendly and approachable when I wear mumus. I am neither of those things, so next time I go out I will just wear my cowgirl apron, my straw hat and my embroidered Motherfucker pendant (it is wall art but I could totally add a chain to it) from The Cotton Floozy and I'm pretty sure that people will leave me the hell alone.
|I realize that I should be snarling in this picture for the proper effect,|
but I couldn't. This get-up made me too happy. I'm totally getting a chain for the pendant.