Friday, April 15, 2011

That Schweaty Mormon Yoga

I was planning on meeting a friend at the 9 am free yoga class this morning. Luckily we are both completely flaky and simultaneously failed at getting to our destination. We each had super great excuses though, which were completely unnecessary.

When we talked this morning, she was telling me about a studio in Old Town Ft. Collins that was only $39 per month for a membership, which is a great price for Ft. Collins.

Friend: "There is some Bringham Young Yoga place in Old Town for only $39."

Me: "Could you perhaps be thinking of Bikram Yoga?"

Friend: "Oh.... yeah."

Me: "I think that it is over 100 degrees in there."

Friend: "Yeah, I read that it is 105."

Me: "It makes me angry just thinking about working out in 105 degrees, which defeats the purpose of yoga, doesn't it?"

Friend: "Yeah, that is hot. Plus it is 90 minutes long, which seems like almost an hour too much."

Me: "Agreed."

And that is how we came to the mutual decision to also flake out on Schweaty Mormon Yoga.

****I joke but I was researching bikram online and came across this article, where she describes my back injury EXACTLY. Maybe I need to get more aggressive with my camel pose and other back bends, which scare the hell out of me.


  1. thats the one I was telling you about the other day! I used to do it alot, but they're super pretentious and all "I am way more spiritually balanced than you and I do this every day and refer to it as my practice instead of workout". And I was always all "You have no idea the depths of my unbalance and I would give you a taste but I am super dehydrated from drinking last night and this 200 degree heat is making me pass out". And then they try to sell the shit as weightloss when you really just lose about 20 lbs of water. Id like to see those Zen motherfuckers jump out of a plane into a forest fire. now that shits hot!

  2. Oh Mai Gawd, I effing love you.

    Just seeing the phrasing "Zen motherfuckers" pleases me beyond reason.

    It is time that you write us all another one of your fabulous stories. I'm getting stale.

  3. I am in awe of people who can do yoga, for me it is like being in timeout.

  4. Ann is awesome!
    AND....the words "camel pose" just made me giggle....Hard.
    Yoga in this house consists of balancing a giant 1 year old while trying NOT to spill your beer when you say "camel pose". The act of holding in laughter is exercise in itself!

  5. I consider yoga a form of torture anyhow, since I have the flexibility of an iron bar. Hot yoga is just... crazy.

  6. @Tova- I laugh at the thought of a grown up being in timeout, yet I wish someone would send me to timeout every once in a while.
    @Erin- It is so obvious why we are friends. I can't wait for you to meet Ann. You guys will love each other.
    @ifbyyes- I hear you on the flexibility factor. I think I am in a pose okay and then I look around the room at my fellow classmates and realize that I am not bendy. At all.

  7. Schweaty Mormon Yoga! You aren't supposed to know about that. It's super secret, and now I'm afraid I have to kill you.

  8. @Floozy- I have super secret Mormon knowledge. Plus, you can't kill me, I'm wearing my magic underwear. ;-P

  9. There are few kinds of physical activity that I get excited about, but hot yoga is definitely one of them. (I like to call it that because the Bikram devotees ARE annoying.)

    You should go! The first few times you may almost die, but just lie on the floor for a bit. Once you get used to it, it is like the crack of yoga. I'm hoping that the new place opening up here will have legit heat. I am stiff as a board, but the heat really does help.

  10. @grammargeek- I can handle a 90-95 degree room for 60 minutes, but I'm afraid that might be my max! I agree, the heat does help the muscle stiffness.
    I know that you mean "the crack of yoga" like a drug, but I am immature and keep snickering and thinking "the butt crack of yoga". Yeah, I'm awesome like that.

  11. I tried yoga. Like, twice. And not the hot sweaty yoga either, just regular old bendy yoga. Let's just say that yoga and I don't really get along. And the thought of doing it in the heat makes me mad, too, so I don't imagine I'll ever do much more than read about Bikram. :)