Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Red Dog

Today's post will be dedicated to my little furry monkey that I call Red Dog.

Red Dog.

Yesterday when my husband returned home from work we took the entire family (fur kids and all) out to the natural area by our house for a little fresh air and sunshine. Red Dog likes to squeeze the most possible fun out of any activity so she naturally added "fetch" and "swimming" to the list.

If you have it in your mind to go for a walk (we refer to walks as a "W"), Red Dog senses the oncoming activity and demands that you take her. I wear sneakers around the house every day, yet somehow when I put them on for a "W", Red Dog KNOWS. She starts doing her epileptic stripper dance around your feet while making insane monkey noises. She can also HEAR you pick up the leash. She could be on her typical neighborhood walk-about  two houses over(my neighbors love me) and you could take the leash off the hook and she will immediately be whining at the back door. She's cRaZy. (Which is why I love her and also why she drives me batty)

Here is Red Dog's "W" yesterday, and what (I believe) she was trying to verbalize with the "who ho ooo ooow who hee awww" noises:

The leash! The LEASH! OMG WE'RE WALKING! freaking out
over here. FREAKING OUT! ILOVEWALKS!
AWESOME!!!!!!

My boy is by the water. I like water. I like fetch. Swimming....
Let's fetch IN THE WATER! OMG!!! YES!
freaking out over here...
I'M FREAKING OUT!
AWESOME!!!

throw it. throw it. throw it. throw it.
SUBMIT TO ME HUMANOID.
THROW IT. THROW IT.....

I PHHHOUND DAH SCHTICK!
ISH IN MY MOUSH!
schwimming....

 
I normally wait until I am standing next to my
people to shake the water off but this wet hair
weighs 60 pounds!
do it. throw it. do it do it do it

I got it!

do it throw it do it now throw it the stick the stick the stick

this is the BEST DAY EVER!

I am mind controlling you to throw it. throw it.
throw it. throw it servant person!

OMG YOU GUYS I FOUND IT! IT'S RIGHT HERE!
I GOT IT!!!!!


And so on and so forth until her heart explodes. Don't worry, we get tired of it long before she does and don't allow her to overexert herself.

All of this fun time in the water and yet "bath time" in her mind is equal to: all of her sticks and balls disintegrating in a fiery explosion while she watches from a chain connected to a truck topper in a dirt spot in the blazing hot sun with no drinking water and the neighbor's dog cleaning his boy parts just out of the reach of her bared teeth. Baths are evil. Pure evil.

Speaking of baths. She does have the funk of pond water clinging to her hide. I consulted my Magic 8 ball and I see a bath in her future. Off to work on my evil laugh.... Muahahahahaha!


13 comments:

  1. I laughed out loud at all the doitdoitdoit pictures being repeated throughout. Your Red Dog is just so darn cute!!!

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  2. I PHHHOUND DAH SCHTICK! ISH IN MY MOUSH! LOL She is a sweet baby.

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  3. I am so out of shape, that made me exhausted just reading it!

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  4. I had 2 dogs that loved the water. Even bath time. A little kiddie pool and a water hose. They'd even take off with the water hose and spray each other.

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  5. You are so freakin funny!!! BTW- I'm back! Sorry for my AWOL-ness. I'm hoping I will no longer be "missing in action". We totally have to get our crew of crazies together some day. Then you and I can quietly sneak away and let the Dad-dudes take care of them. We are totally due for shopping and pampering!!

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  6. @Furry, TOva and Tina-She's a treat! She is the best babysitter evah for Thing 1.
    @Phoenix- She wears me out daily.
    @Brandy- Red Dog will at least swim. Black Dog (half LAB) detests swimming, but is better with bathing, which is good because she is also better at rolling in stinky stuff.
    @Crystal- You are excused (umm- things have been a wee bit crazy for you). You are welcome to visit ANYTIME you are in the area. :)

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  7. saw your 5 answers on Furry Bottoms' blog and had to come over to say hello. now i have to follow you. :)

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  8. I have only been a dog owner/person for a year. But I am a freaktard about my dog. If you want me to crochet dog clothes for your dogs, just let me know. And give me measurements. This is probably more of a winter conversation, but hey! I like you. The end.

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  9. @texwisgirl- Welcome and beware! I like swear words.
    @CF- Black Dog (Princess Lulu belle violet fifi) would probably LOVE a custom Floozy piece. DO you make tiaras? I know she would like one of those. Red Dog would most certainly chew any clothing off her body.

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  10. Nooooooooo......I have been on the fence about letting Cal have a dog and this makes me want to say "yes" with reckless abandon.

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  11. @Elizabeth-DO IT. I'll loan you black dog for practice. She only smells like cat poo and road kill a little this week.

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  12. Except for the "love the water" thing, my fat Jake (black dog) is the same about a W-A-L-K. He inately knows when I'm putting on shoes for a walk versus working in the yard. Dogs are funny things.

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