Yesterday when my husband returned home from work we took the entire family (fur kids and all) out to the natural area by our house for a little fresh air and sunshine. Red Dog likes to squeeze the most possible fun out of any activity so she naturally added "fetch" and "swimming" to the list.
If you have it in your mind to go for a walk (we refer to walks as a "W"), Red Dog senses the oncoming activity and demands that you take her. I wear sneakers around the house every day, yet somehow when I put them on for a "W", Red Dog KNOWS. She starts doing her epileptic stripper dance around your feet while making insane monkey noises. She can also HEAR you pick up the leash. She could be on her typical neighborhood walk-about two houses over(my neighbors love me) and you could take the leash off the hook and she will immediately be whining at the back door. She's cRaZy. (Which is why I love her and also why she drives me batty)
Here is Red Dog's "W" yesterday, and what (I believe) she was trying to verbalize with the "who ho ooo ooow who hee awww" noises:
|The leash! The LEASH! OMG WE'RE WALKING! freaking out|
over here. FREAKING OUT! ILOVEWALKS!
|My boy is by the water. I like water. I like fetch. Swimming....|
Let's fetch IN THE WATER! OMG!!! YES!
freaking out over here...
I'M FREAKING OUT!
|throw it. throw it. throw it. throw it.|
SUBMIT TO ME HUMANOID.
THROW IT. THROW IT.....
|I PHHHOUND DAH SCHTICK!|
ISH IN MY MOUSH!
|I normally wait until I am standing next to my|
people to shake the water off but this wet hair
weighs 60 pounds!
throw it. throw it servant person!
I GOT IT!!!!!
And so on and so forth until her heart explodes. Don't worry, we get tired of it long before she does and don't allow her to overexert herself.
All of this fun time in the water and yet "bath time" in her mind is equal to: all of her sticks and balls disintegrating in a fiery explosion while she watches from a chain connected to a truck topper in a dirt spot in the blazing hot sun with no drinking water and the neighbor's dog cleaning his boy parts just out of the reach of her bared teeth. Baths are evil. Pure evil.
Speaking of baths. She does have the funk of pond water clinging to her hide. I consulted my Magic 8 ball and I see a bath in her future. Off to work on my evil laugh.... Muahahahahaha!