Thursday, April 21, 2011

My life as a superhero

"A superhero? Did you get into the cleaning products again?" you ask.

No.

Yesterday was full of excitement.  It contained two rescue missions, two investigations, a beautification (which equals "saving the planet" in my mind) and a magical concoction.

Let me explain.

The morning started with Thing 1 receiving an important call on his Toy Story phone. This one:
He told me that it was Buzz Lightyear calling and he was stuck in the truck. He said that Buzz needed to be rescued. I played along and said, "Well go rescue him!", to which he replied "No. You do it." Then I remembered seeing him take Buzz with him when he walked out of the door Tuesday with Brock to go to school. I walked out to my truck, and sure enough, there was Buzz Lightyear sitting peacefully in the backseat. So I "rescued" him by bringing him into the house where my Things could "play" with him. Let me just say, for the record, that I would not want to be a boy's toy. I'm not so sure my rescue was in the best interest of Buzz.

Shortly after that, I heard Thing 2 coughing at my feet. I picked him up, did the finger sweep and popped out one of these lovelies that the Red Dog must have carried in on her hide:
Rescue Mission #2 complete: Save Thing 2 from choking because I am a bad housekeeper.
If you are wondering that picture is, I will give you a hint:

No this isn't one of Cher's wigs,
it's a cottonwood tree. Those
little pods are sticky littler effers.
As I was cleaning up the product that comes after the finger sweep (this kid pukes when you clean his ear with a q-tip so jamming your finger in his mouth is a sure fire way to result in vomit), I set him down to wash my hands. In that 20 seconds, he managed to find two more sticky pods and I only recovered one, which means I am on the lookout for a tiny tree sprouting out of his ears any day now. Time to mop the floors, which is on my to-do list today.

*Thursday's To-Do List*
  1. Drink Coffee. (check)
  2. Shower.(check- I KNOW! Celebration!)
  3. Mop so that Thing 2 can't find anything to eat off the floors.
  4. Drink Coffee. (check)
  5. Write Blog Post. (in progress...)
  6. Think about exercising. (huh?)
  7. Feed the herd. (one meal down)
  8. Watch Netflix movie.
  9. Return Netflix movie.
You guys, my life is HARD.

After two rescue missions, one would think this superhero had done enough. But no. A superhero's work is never done.

Thing 1 and I had a few mysteries to solve, thus our investigations began. The first one stemmed from his conversation with his trains. He was speaking about the green #6 train known by Percy. He called Percy "she". I said, "Honey, I think Percy is a boy, so you would say he." Thing 1 replied in his high pitched, thoughtful manner, "Well.....Nooooo, I think Percy is a girl." Honestly, I have had wondered about this myself. And if any of you have little boys, I'm sure you have watched episodes of Thomas the Train. I feel like there is a certain androgyny to both Thomas and Percy. Furthermore, I have my suspicions that they are "special friends". I really didn't investigate too far because I didn't really care to see Percy's girdle, high heels and unmarked video collection.


Love is in the air.
These two should really be named Pat and Kris.
 The second investigation is also still unsolved. We have a plant. It is kind of a bush. A tall skinny one. It grew up in some rocks that we stole resourcefully picked up and used in our landscaping by our front steps.
I think a seed was carried in on one of the rocks. Neither Brock or I know what it is, but it is a survivor, which is crucial for a plant to live in our care, and this is it's third year of growing strong.  It was also on the list of shrubs to be moved because it is in an awkward location, but I think we will have to wait until next year now because as I was walking to the mailbox I noticed it had started to flower! Surprise! Pretty! Please help me identify this bush. It is probably 5 foot tall at the highest point.


What am I?


Even my minions can't figure it out.
 Here is a photo of our partially finished project, the "beautification" in action:
This was all a dirt lot before. I think it is coming along nicely.
We plan on adding Maroon Breeze (i.e. crusher)
to the bare dirt for a path. I'm excited.
Yes, this is the kind of thing that excites me. Sad.
It may not look like much now but wait until the red roses, yellow day lilies, white yarrow and red hot pokers start to bloom. Awesome!

 The final super heroic act of the day was creating a magical concoction (read: new recipe) for Red Beans and Rice. I had clipped one out of a magazine and tried it awhile back with less than stellar results. We were all pleased with the one I made up yesterday. Even Thing 1 gobbled up every bite. Here is proof:
I'll post it tomorrow or later today because this post is so long that I probably lost half of my readers after the first rescue mission. Wha wah wah wahwahwah.

I hope that you all are having a great Thursday. I'm off to don my cape and mop the floors.

Peace, Love and Unicorns,
Johi

14 comments:

  1. You are just the coolest Mom ever!!!

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  2. haha moms are like superheros! (Or like wizards :) )

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  3. I don't think I can read your blog anymore when I'm at work. I end up laughing way too loud! "This kid pukes when you clean his ear with a q-tip..." HHAAAAAAA!!!!! (Also, totally with you on the whole Percy thing.)

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  4. I need easy recipes, cuz I'm a lazy cook but like to eat.

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  5. that's a lovely flowering bush, whatever it is! keep it away from thing 2 tho...

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  6. you ARE a superhero. you need a tshirt or something that says, "thanks for the advice, but what i really need are minions."

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  7. "Yes, Johi, there is a superhero".....and it's YOU!!! Duh!! Well, done! A day in the life of a superhero is never over. BTW- come beautify my yard...it's pretty, blah-ze-faire!

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  8. I hurried over to read the comments to discover what your mystery plant is and NO ONE has been able to crack the case. Disappointing. lol.

    But, I have no answers either. I don't know what plants are what unless they come with a Lowe's tag.

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  9. Ahh thanks guys. I have the bestest readers Evah!

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  10. LOL You are a fucking genius AND I peed my pants a little. I checked both. That was me. Just in case you were wondering who thought you were the shiznit today.

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  11. @Tish- you are officially my favorite person of the day. :)

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  12. I love how resourceful Buzz was in a crisis!

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  13. @ifbyyes- I thought it was quite brilliant of Thing 1. But he's my kid, so I'm supposed to think that. :-)

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  14. You're so right about Percy and Thomas. They have little fluoro spandex boiler covers they wear when no-one's looking

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