Saturday, April 2, 2011

Golden Nuggets of Wisdom

There have been things said to me or around me that have affected or enhanced me in one way or another. Because of my generous nature, I thought that I would share nibblets of that information here with you.

From my father:

If you start something, you finish it. (good call)
If they are bullying you, just punch them and they'll  stop. (it did make them stop...)
Dammit! Pay attention! (gee, thanks... why didn't you say that before the horse kicked me in the head?)

From my mother:

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. (sorry about all that talking I did/still do Mom.)
She's only being mean to you because she is jealous. (I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that her boyfriend was checking out my ass)
This is how you fold a shirt.... (she's very good)
You rest, you rust. (so THAT is my problem... too much down time.)

From my Grandmother, regarding cooking:

Use 1 to 2 Tablespoons of lemon juice in your chicken soup.
Use a little sugar in tomato sauces.
When cooking with butter, put a little oil in the pan first and the butter won't burn.
(learn from this people, she knew what she was talking about)

From the same Grandmother, regarding a horrible betrayal by a friend:

I always thought that she was just a little "too much". (umhmmm)

From other Grandmother, regarding dating:

Dating then wasn't like it is now. People didn't sleep around. (bahahaha! I almost peed my pants)

From Thing 1:

Mommy, you look like a princess! (I AM A PRINCESS! I love you honey!)
I'M NOT CHALWY!!!! (read this for explanation)
She's obnoxious! (about red dog... its true, she is)

From my sister:

No offense, but.... your legs look like BONE withsomeskinaroundit. (after I had lost some weight)
Oh... you're having a boy? (with great disappointment in her voice)
OHMYGAWD! I hope you are not always THAT RED! (upon meeting my redheaded and sunburned friend for the first time.)
I know, his ego is what attracted me to him. (wow. Love you sissy!!!)

I could keep going here because she is a mine full of treasures, but I'll save some goodies for later.

From my husband:

I don't respond to pressure. (this was actually directed at a crying Thing 2, but I think it would be an inspiring quote to add to his new business cards.)
He's like a 2 watt bulb that is slowly dimming.
She's as reliable as a screen door on a submarine.

....and for the win:
I thought you were JOKING when you were telling me all that horrible stuff about yourself.

Have a great weekend! We are moving more bushes and working hard on a business name for Brock's new (recycled) thang. Thanks to my DoCo peeps for the fabulous suggestions. One of them is #1 in the running! be continued. *Oh GOD, someone make her stop!!!!!


  1. I have to remember that 2 watt bulb quote. It's great.

    My husband and I use the term "a definite light" in public to refer to a dimwit. It's an abbreviation of the phrase "a definite light showed in his/her eyes when BOTH neurons fired at once", which we picked up off of a favourite comic of ours.

  2. My dad told me he couldn't talk the other day because he was "busier than a one armed paper hanger". I had to ask what a paper hanger was then he explained it, said "just think about that for a while" and hung up! Oh my, it would be a blast to get the two of you drunk in the same room!

  3. @ifbyyes- I will be stealing "a definite light"! haha!
    @Simple giiiiiiirrrrrl- I'm even fun when I'm not drunk! Your pa sounds like a riot!