Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My Things are growing like weeds, I mean... a well-tended garden.

It's Tuesday!!! Do you know what that means???
Me neither.

But I thought that I would take today's post and dedicate it to my precious Things.

Exciting new developments around the Wagner house in the past few weeks:

Thing 1 and I started some seeds for a vegetable and flower garden. Then we sang to them (and watered them and all that jazz). Then we patiently waited (Thing 1 watched Max and Ruby and I stared blankly at them while hovering over the coffee pot every morning). They are now sprouting, which makes us officially awesome.

Thing 1 and me on planting day. I'm reading the instructions
because, as usual, I don't know what the hell I am doing.

These tomato seeds are from Elmo. Guaranteed to grow!

Only nine days later and Thing 1 and I are officially Master Gardeners!

When it stops being bi-polar on the weather front here (i.e. 70 one day and snowing the next), we plan on transplanting our precious seedlings into the wonderful new (made with wood recycled from an old fence) garden beds courtesy of my handy dandy husband. Once again, we are right on schedule with our projects. We have been talking about doing raised beds for 5 years now. The weeds out here are ridiculous and I am pretty lazy, so I thought raised beds would not only be of great assistance with the weed control, but also helpful for my old lady back. We put the beds out by our little barn, which makes the fact that the horses no longer live in it a bit easier to swallow. Plus, we planted grass out there and tore the fence down, thus giving us more yard to mow (one acre with a push mower- yippee) but less dirt to blow into my kitchen. A decent trade off, I guess. If the grass will actually grow....

Here is a picture of the beds, complete with new barn doors (thanks honey! Now the neighbors can't see how much shit we store in there.) and a fresh pile of dirt that Thing 1 basically has been living in:
We need to add some nice black top soil to prepare the beds for planting.
I hope that the grass comes in a little better than this,
maybe I should remember to water it.....
I look forward to May, when the weather is wonderful and I can plant the seedlings and the rest of my seeds in the garden. I fear that Thing 1 will be sad when he is no longer allowed to play in the dirt with Red Dog and his tractors. I'll deal with that when we come to it (cue: me crying because the dog/child combo ripped out all my hard work).

In other news, Thing 2 is now speed crawling, splashing violently in water and putting absolutely everything into his mouth.

Let me translate that:
  • Thing 2 magically disappears and then I hear splashing only to discover him gleefully playing in the toilet.
  • Thing 2 is playing quietly... too quietly... and  he is drooling. A lot. I do a finger sweep to discover one of the following items: a magnet, a toy, an orange peel, dog food, dirt, a rock, and whatever else he finds (or that Thing 1 gives to him on the sly). Yay for the "everything goes into the mouth" stage. Good times.
  • Thing 2 loves his bath time so much, and gets so excited, that the bath water churns like the sea that sunk Titanic. Clean up on Aisle 8!
  • I have to mop my floors more than I desire because he is crawling all over them and then jamming his fists into his mouth. Cat dander + dog hair + baby drool = gagging (and that is just what I do..)
Today, after I entered his room post nap time to discover a code green diaper explosion (I'll let you figure out why I called it a code green...), I plopped him in the tub to recover that yummy baby smell. When he got out I pulled out the Baby Hefner robe. I'm surprised that I didn't chew on him.

The letter N is delicious.
Please excuse the door trim.
Wait... what trim?
  So, as you can clearly see, my children are perfect.
Never mind that I run around yelling "Get off your brother", "Stop that!", "For the sixteenth time! Get in here NOW! one....two...three...", "Ouch! Stop pinching my fat!", "No! Don't touch!", "No! Don't eat that!", "Where are your pants?" or moaning "Oh my GAWD- GO TO SLEEP!!!!" at 3 a.m.
The end.


  1. Farmville was and always will be my only glory at having a green thumb...but I sure was a super Farmer on that game!

  2. Well, obviously your children are perfect.
    Also, growing plants with them is a great idea!

  3. Oooooooo, the raised beds are great! Although, why no horses?
    I dunno though, kind of with Thing 1 here: dirt is pretty awesome, especially if you have little boy sized tractors to drive around in it.
    And you never have to remember to water it!

  4. No time or money for the horses right now. The boys worked last summer at the livery and they will again this year. :(
    I can handle the current amount of dirt- before that I had an Olympic Volleyball court sized patch of dirt about 30 feet from my house. You can imagine what my window sills would look like after a windy day.

  5. I can't grow plants, so I buy them grown. I'm not so awesome as you and Thing 1.

  6. I've tried to keep things alive by planting them in the dirt. It hasn't worked for me. I can, however, successfully drool a lot and I have been known to gnaw on a letter N from time to time.

  7. You inspired me to plant seeds with the kids today only we planted them in sponges to make our own kind of cha-cha-cha-chia pets. Then we took bets on when they would first sprout. Nothing like teaching them to be gamblers from the start, right? OH! And baby Heff?!?!?! TOO F'ING ADORABLE!!!!!!!