Thursday, February 10, 2011

Sticks and stones my break my bones but some words make me laugh

You know when you skim over words and your eyes trick you into thinking that you are reading a different word?  No?  Well, you are clearly not the competent speed reader that I am... 

I just thought that I read the phrase "Vagina Wagon".  I didn't.  But I feel like it could really catch on and I came here to share it with you.

To apply to undesirable people:
My coworker is a total vagina wagon... she ate my yogurt when I clearly marked it with my name and social security number.

To apply to slow moving mini vans driven by mothers with 400 kids in tow:
This vagina wagon in front of me is driving under the speed limit and swerving like a drunk man salsa dancing.

When your man is feeling moody and hormonal:
My man was quite the vagina wagon when he cried last night while we were watching The Bachelor.  I gave him some tissue and a Midol.

For a man who is a gigolo, or The Bachelor:
He's given rides to so much pussy that he should now officially be labeled a vagina wagon.

I hope this doesn't mean that I need to get my eyes checked.  If I have to wear my glasses all the time I guess I will just dye my hair brunette and tell everyone that I am Tina Fey or Sarah Palin, depending on whether I am hanging in my dad's garage or at my favorite gay bar.  You match the people to the appropriate locations...

From the corn fed girl to society:
Go forth and use this flexible phrase in your everyday speech, your facebook status updates and the lyrics to that country song you've been working on.

5 comments:

  1. hahaha!!! I gotta tell ya the first thing that came to my mind was that the "vagina wagon" would be way more fun than the "ice cream truck"!! I'm just saying...if I were a guy...that would be WAY more fun!

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  2. awesome- my guinea hen that pecked me in the fucking lip is now offically named vagina wagon!

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  3. haha! I'm not so patiently awaiting your guinea hen story so that I can share it here! *tapping fingernails on counter*

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  4. I may just print out Vagina Wagon labels and stick them on whatever I feel applies...

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  5. Please stop using the words Vagi-gi Wagon.

    See? I can't even bring myself to write that in its full form. You're seriously limiting the enjoyment of a certain demographic among your followers,(one which you traditionally rate well among).

    May I recommend Tu-Tu-Waka-Muki instead?

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