Bananas are offensive.
I take that back.
For the most part, bananas are offensive.
They have about a 24 hour period where they are remotely edible; right after the too green and they feel like they zapped all of the moisture from your tongue and replaced it with their banana fur; and right before they loose their firmness and become a phallic blob of fermented mush.
They are mostly smooshy, and smooshy food offends me. Just as any food that resembles phlegm, whole baby animals, brains or eggplant.
Apparently it is hard to eat them without smacking your lips, which is a noise that makes me want to stab myself in the leg with a fork.
When bananas are combined with baby slobber and cat hair and smeared on my jeans, I actually want to strip off my pants and run panicked and pantless down the street.
Come to think of it I am kind of smooshy and sometimes my husband smacks his lips when he is around me..... my hair is yellow.....and I have a tiny window of time in which I am even remotely pleasant.
That is all.