Multiple times a day I find myself reprimanding Thing 1, you know, since I am his mom and he is three years old. What I have discovered, beside the fact that the majority of what I say sounds like "Wah wah wah" to my family, is that I have a really irritating habit of saying "shall we?"; especially after I gently recommend a change of plan to my child to help guide him through his life. Never fear, Thing 1 is determined to fix me. Let's hear the story, shall we?
Thing 1 ::playing the musical bunny that sings Jesus Loves The Little Children 800 times in a row::
Me: "Let's turn that off, shall we?"
Thing 1 ::rolling around on the floor and "accidentally" clobbering Thing 2 with his flailing feet::
Me: "Let's calm down, shall we?"
Thing 1 ::admiring his peanut butter accented hand prints on the big mirror::
Me: "How about we wash our hands, shall we?"
Thing 1 ::testing his "volume 11"::
Me: "Let's play the quiet game, shall we?"
Thing 1 ::mining for gold::
Me: "How about we don't pick our nose, shall we?"
Thing 1 ::exploring::
Me: "Let's not touch our private parts so much, shall we?"
Brock: "It's only the start of a life long love affair."
Me ::chuckle and eye roll::
The problem with this, aside from being redundant and irritating, is that I don't think that Thing 1 is even listening to my profound messages. Like, at all. Because he always has the same response, which I somehow am always surprised and amused by- probably because I didn't realize just how often I was saying "shall we".
Thing 1: "I'M NOT CHALWY!" ::runs out of the room::
This is how I know he is not listening, because he doesn't even think I am talking to him, and if I am, I am just that moronic lady who keep forgetting his name.
Following this line of thinking; according to both Thing 1 and my husband, my name is actually "Huh?".