Monday, February 7, 2011

Don't worry. It's normal to feel like a loser when there are people like me around.

I know that I have tricked a few men into reading this here blog. I'm sorry.  I'll try to talk less about laundry and more about taxidermy and team sports.  But since you are here....  Just an FYI~ Valentine's Day is a week away (and my birthday is in two weeks) so you still have plenty of time to get your poop in a group and plan something spectacular for your lady (or your flavorite blogger, whose birthday is in two weeks).  To help you get motivated, let me show you how much I can accomplish here in one week.

Once again, I put my Art Degree to stellar use by designing and creating these fabulous decorations with Thing 1.  I was super excited for craft hour, where I could teach him all about important holidays like Valentine's Day; namely how he should tell daddy to get mommy Godiva Chocolates and flowers.
He was just thrilled that I let him use scissors.
Don't feel bad.
Not everyone can do hard stuff like this.
I even rolled scotch tape to make it double sided.
I know.  I'm an undiscovered crafting genius.

Then I thought about cleaning up the office.
It looked too hard, so I decided to do laundry instead.

I don't understand why I would get late notices.
Then I took some pictures of my fur-kids. I stole that saying from a friend of mine.

Hi.  I'm really fucking cute.
And it is really fucking windy.

I can't tell which look this is~
"Is that one of those canine killing cameras?"
or "Is that cookie for me?".

I DO know that this meow means "Open the door and let
me in NOW- you servant human." 
Does he look like a flesh eating zombie kitteh
 from Pet Cemetary to anyone else in this picture?

Then I held Thing 2.  All week.  During every waking hour. Because if I set him down he did this...

 I then found a picture of clowns that didn't frighten me, a feat which I thought was impossible.

I had at least two deep thoughts....

Okay, one and a half.
And I took my kids on an airplane ride. 
I was the "airplane" and I "flew" them on my feet.

On top of all of that, I also changed the background of my blog twice, thanks to the graphics fairy, updated my facebook status at least three times, and cooked at least four meals for my family.

So as you can see, I can get a lot of super important "stuff" done in a week, which should be inspiration enough for you boys to plan a lovely romantic Valentine's Day for your gal. 

Hint: It is impossible to go wrong with shiny things {that are also known as diamonds}. 
Hint squared:  I never even liked Valentine's Day until I met my husband, who gave me said shiny things on our first Valentine's Day together.  Then my gay cat and I moved in with him and I tricked him into marrying me.  muahahahahaha!  Bring on the house dresses, support hose and ceramic cat collection. it has been a fairy tale ever since.

And They Lived Happily Ever After.
The End


  1. Hey look at you being all fancy shmancy and changing your blog 2 times. I'm not a big fan of Valentines day...but I still get a cheesy card and flowers and chocolates for the hubby.

    I got your email...sorry I didn't reply. I suck...what can I say. BUT, I kept the email with your info. When I'm not so lazy maybe I will attempt to change my blog!! Thanks