Tuesday, February 1, 2011

15 signs that you have given up.

  1. You think that you look nice because you picked out a sweater to match your pajama bottoms, which you fully intend to wear all day.
  2. You actually encourage you child to jump on your bed- so he can get some exercise.
  3. Cake for breakfast?  Why yes!  Is there a better breakfast food?
  4. You don't use your hairbrush.... or your toothbrush.
  5. The dog doesn't even want to sit by you.
  6. Two hours of television for children is a "loose guideline". Who is up for a Toy Story MARATHON????
  7. Your child wet YOUR bed when napping.  You "air dry" the down comforter and proceed to sleep under it... (you turned the pee spot to the foot of the bed, so what's the problem?)
  8. The highlight of your day is drinking 8 cups of coffee out of this mug.
  9. You hope and pray that today is not the day when Publisher's Clearing House brings you that 3 million dollar check, because you don't want photographic evidence of you looking so horrible.
  10. You are so thankful that you cooked earlier in the week because "leftovers" is all that is on the menu.
  11. You take to jumping over that sticky spot on the floor, rather than wiping it up.
  12. You hear a strange sound from the bathroom and realize it is your husband- cleaning.  You know it had to be really dirty for him to notice.
  13. You are flattered when your husband tells you "You could make soup out of an old shoe and I would eat it."  What does this say about the quality of the meals that you have been preparing?  It doesn't matter, because you are too vacant to think that hard.
  14. You investigate and consider hiring a service to do your grocery shopping for you, just because you don't feel like getting dressed in anything other than your pajamas.
  15. Your "to do" list for the day contains three things: *Hey Stupid! Drink water so you don't get a headache again.  *Find your slippers. *Huh? I forgot what I was going to write.....
Okay- I gave in and showered.  I was skeeving myself out.

10 comments:

  1. bwhahahahaha!! I've actually felt that way!!! When I was so sick in December (I truly thought I was dying!)...where you looking in our window and stalking up on great blog fodder?!!!

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  2. LMAO! Good to know I am not the only one out there.

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  3. Johi, I'm actually proud of the outfits I make from yoga/pj pants and sweaters...is that so wrong??? I actually now wear my crocs and yoga/pj pants to the store, something I swore I would never, ever do. I'm at a new personal low.

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  4. Yep... I can identify with most of these things currently because of my sad, wah-wah no-job-having depressing life. Save for the shit about the kids, this is pretty spot on.

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  5. I usually swap out the pajama-pants for sweats, but hey, potato-potahto.

    (been voyeuring your blog, but don't think I've commented, because usually I just think "yep" and keep laughing to myself. One cornfed-girl to another!)

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  6. Awwww, I was brought up on cake (or pie, or peanut butter and maple syrup...) for breakfast! But today I ate string cheese, so I guess I'm doing pretty well. And come to think of it, where are my slippers?

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  7. I can't get away with the clothing sitch because of work, but I totally relate to the housework. I'm glad I'm not the only one that lives in blissful and willful ignorance.

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