Monday, January 17, 2011

We are unplugging! No, we aren't.

Saturday, with the prospect of leaving my house for an evening of adult conversation glittering in my future, I got all idealistic and decided that I (and the rest of my unsuspecting family) was going to "unplug" for an entire week.  After 8 days of phlegm, coughing, aching and restless sleep, we had all become media slaves. (Not to mention that my ass was growing roots into the couch cushions from sitting and holding my cranky Thing 2, all day, every day)  Thing 1 has been glued to the TV, I have been glued to the Internet, Thing 2 was glued to me (literally- there has been an obscene amount of snot here) and my husband always follows my lead, therefore becoming a zombie in his own right.  We were tuned out, not communicating, barely functioning and miserable.  I decided our problem stemmed from the distraction of entertainment, which was  creating a low function zone in our house.  I nobly declared this week to be "Unplugged Week!".  My husband said "Okay".  Then I packed my over-night bag and headed to Denver to have a little adults-only dinner with some friends and to help my girlfriend decorate her apartment. 

We had a lovely dinner, complete with stimulating conversation about Hollywood people ~whom none of us know personally, which was followed up with my girlfriend and I coercing our company (2 men) to come back to her place and carry the heavy ass oak desk that I donated to her, up to her apartment.  When we got the desk to its proper location, we turned on The Devil Wears Prada and looked at pretty people wearing pretty clothing and drank hot chocolate out of adorable mismatched china. (Has anyone figured out that our dinner company was a gay couple?)

Sunday morning I woke up early (because I obviously have been possessed by a masochistic ghost- someone call an exorcist).  I noticed that my girlfriend owned P.S. I Love You and I decided that I wanted to see Gerard Butler's muscles watch a beautiful love story, so I popped it into her DVD player.  Later, she and I went out for some shopping for her place, lunch and a walk. We visited Denver's Washington Park for the latter two, where we were accosted by giant, hungry, flesh eating squirrels.  In their defense, we didn't actually witness them eating human flesh, we just had a feeling that they wanted to gnaw on us... We then delivered the loot to her apartment, where we frantically hung pictures and mirrors.  We attempted to hang curtains but after some frustration and a lot of cursing, we realized that we had the wrong tools.  Even without the curtains, the transformation was quite stunning. I had every intention of before and after photos but I couldn't find my camera.  Whoops.  You'll just have to trust me- it looks great!  I drove home to my boys just in time to prepare them dinner (frozen pizza).  As soon as I entered the house Thing 1 informed me that he watched "Spongebob".  For shame!  Then I turned on The Golden Globes and mused at what an asshole Ricky Gervais was....

So here I am, typing and catching up with reading my favorite blogs, with Toy Story 3 playing in the background, blowing my nose and submitting to my epic failure.  But in the words of Scarlett O'Hara, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

I'll wait until of week of complete health (and with temperatures in the 70's) to "unplug" my family.  Until then, we will continue to be Internet addicted, zombie-like movie fanatics.  Try not to be intimidated by our "picture of healthy living". Wheeeeeee!

1 comment:

  1. I thought I commented already. Guess not. I wish my wkends were that entertaining.