Thursday, January 6, 2011

Today had so much potential...

It all started by me getting to sleep until 7:34 a.m.  OH YES!  Thing 1 stayed up past 10 last night, therefore clobbering that "rise with the sun" BS right out of him.  Sa-weet.  Thing 2 even slept late (or I was too tired to hear him....).  I arose from my bed to the smell of brewed coffee.  The husband had an early meeting and left the house before 7, so there was no news on the television, no children awake and no noise in the house.  I LOVE QUIET.  I followed the dog tracks on the floor to the coffee pot and found this note waiting for me there (he knew that I would see it if he left it near the caffeine source).....

This is the stuff that I love....

I was up before the Things, caffeinated and ready to attack the day!  Good thing, because my house looks like a combination of an animal shelter and Romper Room.... I can't imagine why.   I had a fresh new day..... what to do? Cleaning the house was definitely on the agenda!  But I needed to get Thing 1 to preschool first, so I threw on yesterday's clothes (which was easy because I slept in the shirt), ran a brush through my hair,(which didn't make it look any less like a family of mice had made a home in it) and I loaded up the chillens to rush Thing 1 to preschool.  After I deposited him there, Thing 2 and I ran into the local Sunflower Market and picked up a few items.  They had pomegranates on sale and I bought two.  We came home and I put the little guy down to nap.  I thought about cleaning my house but the idea was overwhelming me, so I put the groceries away instead.  I had to wake Thing 2 from his nap (sacrilege!) and rush to pick up Thing 1 from preschool, where he had created this artwork of a snowman.

I'm not sure why the hat is there....
 The craft snowman inspired the building of a real snowman.... or two snowThings....

The most sloppily made snowThings in the west.
What do you do with an 8 month old while your 3 year old begs
 you to build a snowman with him?
 Bundle him up, plop him in a Bumbo chair,
 stick him up on the south porch and bust ass to make
snowmen.... FAST.
Upon Thing 2's insistence (i.e. angry screaming), we retired to the indoors to have a little lunch.  That is when I brutally slaughtered one of the pomegranates.  I forgot to put waxed paper on my cutting board first... 
No animals were harmed in the preparation
of my lunch.
Well, except the turkey that we ate...
Thing 1 decided that he LOVES pomegranates, and so did I.

No, I did not slap my child.  This is pomegranate juice.
He gets his messy eating habits from his father...
Thing 2, on the other hand, was not as excited about his green beans with brown rice.  He was about as easy to feed as trying to put lipstick on a dashboard bobble head while driving on a washboardy gravel road.
"Not yummy, mom."
He gets his chins from me...

 After lunch and clean up, I put the Things down for naps.  It was 2:00.  They usually nap for about 2 hours.  I decided that I would check facebook and then I would throw dinner together .  After that I would clean the house and shower.  Then when my darling husband comes home I will be fresh and clean, in a sparkling tidy home with delicious smells wafting in the air.  This of course all hinged on my children napping.  Which they didn't.  Instead they played one of their favorite games of "Tagteam Mom until her Head Explodes".  It goes something like this... I attempt to start a project, or shower, or write, or try to sleep because it is 1 a.m., and one of them starts....1."Mommy I have to go POTTY!", 2."WAHHHHHHH!" translate:"I'M WET!", 1."Mommy I can't find my sticker!", 2. "WAHHHHHH!" translate: "HOLD ME!", and so on and so forth until I am thoroughly used up, trashed out, exhausted and have accomplished nothing on my own agenda.  Add the melodic sounds of the Black Dog barking and I now have a migraine.

I am fairly certain that, beyond writing this poorly composed post, nothing will be finished today. Nothing will be cleaned, I will still be wearing yesterday's clothes and no dinner will be prepared upon the return of my husband.  Thank God for frozen pizza, Advil and boxed wine.  Let's all toast to another successful day!

I'll see both of you bastards tomorrow.
 Daily tip: (I really don't know why I call these "daily" tips because I write them about twice a month...)
Expect the unexpected... and keep a box of wine in your pantry.  Then you can hover in the corner with your glass and pretend like you are searching for black beans....


  1. whew...send your boxed wine this way! But, what a super great way to start the day. THe hubster gets a gold star for the love note and coffee! That darn pomegranate juice...doesn't come out of white very well...just an FYI!!

  2. Johi I love your blog. It is so my life. And we have the same kitchen counters. The end.

  3. @Crystal- Franzia Cabernet for 12.99 for 5 liters! Oh yeah, baby.
    @Amy- Too bad you don't live closer-Our kids are pretty close to the same ages I think. Then we could mutually ignore them while they play and we discuss our counters. :)
    @Aubrey- Thanks!