Friday, January 7, 2011

Is it really Friday? I LOVE Fridays!

Thing 1 watched Toy Story 3 again, while Thing 2 slept, while I pitted out my shirt in a 3 1/2 hour long cleaning frenzy.  My floors now *sparkle*.  Not really, but I think I removed the top layer of crust.

Don't be fooled that I worked that hard cleaning, I pit out every shirt I wear.  I could have been sitting on the couch watching a Top Model marathon and that "activity" would also do the trick. 

Then I let the dogs inside....  Then Thing 1 and his friend decided to put every toy he owns onto the floor (it was so worth it, they had a great time, and so did her mommy and I) .... Then my husband tromped in with muddy boots.... Then I ate an entire bag of microwave popcorn on the couch, where most of it is now sticking to the couch or my fleece zippy thingy.  I honestly doesn't matter because Thing 2  is a cuddler and keeps "snuggling" his face into my shirt- he also has a very runny nose today. Then he blew out his diaper and I am almost certain that there is some of that residue on my top as well.... 

I may have cleaned my house today, but I haven't touched the laundry in three days so now I have approximately 176 loads beckoning me.  My husband asked me what I had planned for the weekend and I answered "Laundry."   Because that is how we roll around here....

I am surprised that no one has contracted my family yet to pose as one of those happy, energetic families who work hard and play harder in advertisements and brochures.....  I can picture it now: My husband is holding a locally brewed beer with his bandaged hand and a poopy diaper in the other.  Thing 1 is sitting on top of Thing 2 who is laying on the floor surrounded by garish plastic toys, while I am balancing a load of laundry on one hip and pointing at the timeout corner with an unmanicured finger. Sounds enticing, doesn't it?  The catch phrase could be something like this: "Move to Colorado and experience the local treasures!" or "Colorful Colorado! Making dreams come true since 1876."  I am pretty sure that this state would experience a huge influx of people (COUGH COUGH- Caped Cupcake!) with advertising like that....

Something odd and slightly disturbing happened today. Thing 2 made direct eye contact with me the entire time he was filling his diaper with a seeping load of mammoth proportions.  I am still considering throwing everything that he was wearing into the trash, rather than attempting to clean it. I kept looking down at the computer, trying to distract myself but I could still feel his burning gaze.  Talk about intimacy.  Does it get any more intimate than staring someone down whilst doing your "business"?  I think not.  I can't even fathom leaving the bathroom door open and doing that to my husband.... *shivers*

I hope that all of you have fun filled weekends ahead!  I plan on baking something chocolaty and devouring it before it cools completely.  My bookclub has recently decided that we are now actually going to discuss BOOKS instead of the variety of other topics (none of which are books), so I also need to read some book about a Muslim veil before Thursday. Wish me luck!

Daily Tip:  Always have your friends over for a play date after you have spent the morning cleaning your house.  It will allow you to ignore your children without feeling guilt (hello! they are playing... with each other!) and enable you to relax with your girlfriend because your house no longer smells like dog ass.

Daily Tip part two: If you receive two Leap Frogs that sing the ABC song,  re-gift one immediately before your child figures out how to play them in unison, thus making your eye twitch.


  1. Creepy! If I only wore diapers, I'd so try it.

  2. Bahaha! It would be creepy if he wasn't so stinkin' cute! :) The Black Dog (my husband's dog) also likes to poo RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. It is apparently a common problem around here...