When people that you care about are struggling, for the love of God, SUPPORT them. Do not JUDGE them. Do not have pow wows with a group of their closest friends and then tell them about how "everyone thinks you should....blah blah blah"
Do you want to know why?
Because moms today can't win.
It is the wretched guilt spiral at work- yet again.
Mothers who work feel guilt. They feel bad about dropping their children off at day care. They fret about missing first words, first steps, first everythings. They feel guilty for having a life of their own. They feel guilty about enjoying having a life of their own. They get to be judged by modern woman hecklers for choosing, or having, careers. Then they come home and somehow get to figure out how to be an attentive parent while cooking dinner, cleaning the house, doing laundry and getting the kids ready for bed~ all within an extremely short period of time. When the hell do they get to watch The Sing Off? Never. Throw a couple of pets and a significant other into the mix and you officially have created the need for eight more arms and a whole lot more "get a shit". Good thing that when women have babies they no longer need sleep.
Mothers who stay at home feel guilt. They feel bad about not contributing financially to the household. They feel bad about wanting-needing- a break from the 24-7 care that is required of children. They feel guilt about fantasizing about leaving the house without the carpet monkeys and going to the grocery store.... or just sitting in the car in the driveway- alone. They feel bad if the house isn't in order with all the chores completed. Hey they have been there all day with nothing else to do, right? Um hm. They feel desperate when the highlight of their day is delaying the UPS guy just so they can have two minutes of adult conversation when the sun is shining. They get judged by SAHM hecklers for choosing to stay at home to witness all their kids milestones, rather than going to a job to make $2 an hour, because the rest of the salary would go to daycare. Throw a couple of pets and a significant other into the mix and you officially have created the need for eight more arms and a whole lot more "get a shit". Good thing that when women have babies they no longer need sleep.
We can not win, people.
In light of the fact that I am a wonderful, caring person, let me present to you a Christmas gift! Don't feel like I expect anything in return. I like shoes. I am a size 9.
To all you mommies, from the Cornfed Girl:
You are a beautiful, intelligent woman who clearly loves your offspring well enough to not eat them or ship them off to a boarding school in Switzerland. You are doing a wonderful portrayal of a selfless human. Your children love you more than Santa (i.e. anyone on the planet). You are a strong, kind, powerful, loving, hardworking, giving person who deserves a medal, or at the very least, a bumper sticker, for what you do every day. You are capable of loving and being loved; which is the greatest accomplishment of one's lifetime. You rock!
Unless you forward this to 180 people in the next three minutes a bear will enter your yard and eat your trash, then your cat, then your Mother-in-law. Then you will suffer financial ruin, hair loss, halitosis and death by chainsaw.
So the next time you find yourself needing to "fix", judge or point out the "facts" to a mom that you know; do her a favor and instead, offer her a hug, a Valium and to watch her kids for an hour so that she can shower, go on a walk when the sun is shining or just sit in her car- alone. It's Christmas, assholes. Do the right thing.
|It all started with a Mommy.|
I'll bet no one judged her for staying at home with her baby... and her little lamb.
I want a little lamb.
Oh, and the gifts just don't stop!
I like this. It totally negates this post... and my entire blog. Hmm? Maybe someday I'll learn from it.... What? No.
"A change in personality from being spiteful, pessimistic, angry, sullen, and disagreeable to one of passion, optimism, kindness, joy, and understanding is often the key when witnessing miraculous acts of spontaneous recovery from fatalistic prognostications." - Dr. Wayne Dyer
Okay, I'll try again.
Moms! We can win. We can have it all!
I don't know. Optimism feels weird.