Monday, December 27, 2010

Monday Monday.

As Thing 1 burst into our bedroom at 6:24 am with Buzz and Woody tucked under his arms, my husband rolled over and said to me, "I didn't do this to my parents". 

I replied, "Me neither."

Now I know why my parents' room had a "knock-before-entering" rule.  Honestly, the real rule was "just-stay-the hell-out".

In light of my early morning wake up call (and the fact that I cleaned our room last night, thus I was more inclined to actually get out of bed- knowing that the work was already done), I decided to take myself out for an early morning stroll.  Without kids. The Red Dog has some built in mechanism that alerts her to the fact that I am going for a walk and immediately started her typical moaning,shrieking and monkey noises; completed only by her epileptic stripper dance.  Good thing that we don't have a baby asleep in the house.  Oh wait.... I contemplated only taking the Red Dog, because she is my favorite, but Thing 1 told me to take the Black Dog because "she is nice and pretty".  Isn't it wonderful when someone makes you feel like an asshole within 5 minutes of waking?

So off I went- before the sun was shining in the sky *shock and awe inserted here* for a quick power walk with the pooches. Apparently they had a different idea about the theme of the morning walk.  After the 38th time they stopped, for yet another friggin' potty break, I started rethinking my decision to bring them along.  Seriously, I was thinking a quiet, centering walk to invigorate me for the day.  Instead, I was slightly irritated, as usual, by the constant halting for yet another "perfect pee spot!".  I understand that dogs like to sniff and mark- but didn't they realize that this walk was about ME?  The fact that they even came along is only because the Red Dog caught on before I could sneak out, and the Black Dog is so pathetic that the three year old is rooting for her.  Sheesh.  They don't even know to be appreciative when I am handing them a biscuit.

I should have taken my camera because what I witnessed was a peachy pink sunrise over a pristine frozen lake, with the moon and one bright star reflecting in the icy calm. It. Was. Beautiful.  Sorry that I can't share it with you.  I would draw you a picture but that would require far too much effort.

Upon my return, I decided that today was the day to regain my living room!  So I took down the Christmas tree.  I normally leave the tree up for almost 2 weeks after Christmas- or until the epiphany (whenever that is...), but this year it looked like it had been flogged with a dog tail, a cat and a three year old.  Oh- because it had.  The beads looked like they had celebrated Mardi Gras. The ornaments that were on the tree had been "creatively rearranged" by Thing 1. There were other ornaments falling to their doom on the floor, or worse, the once beautiful tree skirt that my Grandmother made me.  It is felt.  We have pets.  You figure out what it looks like now.

So I went on a whirlwind cleaning spree.  I feel like if someone was videoing me that I would have resembled the Tasmanian Devil.  I would actually prefer watching that video over the one that my husband filmed of me  on Christmas morning- where I was eating a cookie for breakfast.  I didn't know he was filming.  It was not pretty....  Anyway, down came tree and out came the broom, dust cloth and vacuum.  I thought that I had done pretty well, until I picked up the blocks that Thing 1 was playing with by setting them up and then crashing into them with his beloved trash truck first, then his body. 

This is what they looked like....

I vacuumed not once, but twice.

I'm certain that the fact that they are some sort of foam substance doesn't help.  These were a Christmas gift from my folks to Thing 2.  They are soft so that when he falls on them (i.e. his brothers shoves him onto them) he doesn't impale himself. Apparently they are made by the same company who manufactures Swiffer clothes.  Thing 1 has been enjoying them immensely.  So did my parents' puppy..

Yummy.  Grape flavored....
As much as I like the hairy block and the dog tooth block, the following two are my very favorite.

No, I didn't do this.  I think the factory hired monkeys
 to ink in the letters and numbers.

This one has a toupee!  It looks so happy!
 My mom had laughed as she told me that she picked these blocks up at Lowe's, or Home Depot, or Menard's... I can't remember.  I personally think that they are selling these as bait to entice you (or humiliate you) into buying more cleaning products from them.  I have been wanting to replace my vacuum for some time now...

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