I like to remind the people around me of my stellar luck. It is like I was born with a rabbit's foot keychain in my tiny baby hand. I have won enough "important" awards to make Michael Phelps's Olympic Medal collection seem like Cracker Jack prizes.
Like the time in 1987, when I won the All-School guessing contest. You had to possess a stealthy combination of skill and luck to snag an award of that magnitude. The challenge was to guess the number of buttons in a jar. The prize was a five story tall trophy, which was constructed of fake brass, iridescent blue plastic and a sprinkling of humiliation. I was even rewarded with my picture in the paper. Wow, just what every awkward 12 year old girl desires~ unwanted public attention from a mandatory school contest, complete with photographic evidence and a GIANT useless piece of plastic as a constant reminder. What an accomplishment! I still display that trophy... I think it is in a public rest stop somewhere in Nebraska.
Fast forward to December of 1990. I was a sophomore in High School. Our boys Varsity Basketball Team was headed to the state tournament. A raffle was held by our booster club, with the proceeds going to the team for travel expenses. We all bought tickets. The prize was a very well made, ruffly edged pillow with a cloth photograph of the team stitched onto the front. I am certain that someone spent a good amount of time creating the thing, which is unfortunate because it was hideous. Who won the raffle... in the high school gym in front of all of the students and their parents? Me. And the local paper took my picture to prove it.
So, as you can clearly see, I am one lucky lady. Obviously I should have been playing the lottery all these years. Instead, my unwavering loyalty lies with the late Ed McMahon and I religiously enter the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. It's free yo, and it's about time someone under 176 years old won that shiznit.