Friday, December 10, 2010

Ho Ho Ho

It is official.  I am insane.  After eleven exhausting hours alone with a very cranky and teething Thing 2, I had the brilliant idea to bake Christmas cookies last night with the husband and Thing 1.  It was about as much fun as playing "I Spy" with Helen Keller... or grocery shopping with 18 children under the age of four. 
Let's just say that the cookies made last night will not be the ones we distribute to friends and family this Christmas.  There was much.... ummm..... "experimenting" with.. umm... listening  reading recipes.  The Cookie Gods were definitely laughing at me last night.

My personal favorite part of the experience? It was a toss up between 1/2 cup of butter being left out of $20 in ingredients and the giant ball of dough that was sneaked to the three year old, who had already eaten plenty; I assure you.  I tried to act shocked when he had a complete meltdown at bedtime.

On the bright side, I did like the HO HO HO cookies that we made.  You could also turn them over and use them as "orgasm treats" for a bachelorette party~OH OH OH!

It really was a tragedy to discover, this morning, that Smelly Cat had peeled back the plastic wrap and gnawed on a good portion of the Ho Ho Ho cookies.  What made the find even more exciting were the bloody remnants of the partially eaten, stolen cookies.  Apparently Smelly Cat is having some dental issues.  No problem, I'll just ask Santa for some kittah dentures.  I wonder if the kittah Poly-Grip is Salmon or Mouse flavored?  

I am attempting, while I type this, to bake the bar cookies that were mixed up without the proper amount of butter.  I am not feeling overly confident.  As an alternative, I can just buy a gallon of vanilla ice cream and add the ruined cookies to it. Then I will get a giant spoon, Netflix all of the Sex in the City episodes and eat my weight in failure. I strongly believe in having a backup plan.

Actually, I can't do that.  I'm far too unstable to watch Carrie tell Aidan good-bye again. 

So to those of you who typically get cookies from me at Christmas~ Sorry to disappoint.  You will just have to wait a little longer.  Maybe I can offer up a sacrifice to the Cookie Gods?  I'm off to go find that squirrel that kept defecating on my head this spring.

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