Friday, December 3, 2010

The "F" word.

I enjoy amusing people, which is ironic because I harbor an intense fear of clowns.  They are right up there with snakes and Michael Bolton.  This blog wobbles an unstable line between being a cathartic ventilation for me and mild, slightly stale entertainment for my four readers who have nothing better to do at work.  I would like to constantly be improving upon my blogging skillz and I consulted some of my peeps regarding my vision quest (I just really like thinking that I am awesome enough to have a vision quest). 

One of my good (cursing) friends and I on our Vision Quest.
 I have two very close, good Christian, non-swearing friends who (upon my probing) cautiously mentioned that I may be using the "f" word too many times in my blog.  These are the same people to whom I whine (okay, bawl) about how I am undervalued, exhausted from being at home 24/7 (my choice! got it! I know!) with 2 kids and have something like $6.82 to my name right now.  Wah!  Good thing it isn't the holidays or I might have an outright anxiety attack. Stressed?  Who me?  Have I mentioned that Thing 1 shats in his big boy underpants up to 7 times a day, every day and then somehow manages to smear the poo around the entire bathroom while I attempt to clean him off while Thing 2 is screaming (he is fine, just a screamer) at the top of his lungs and the Black Dog is barking at imaginary squirrels and bad people and cameras and the Red Dog somehow carried that stank ass ball of hers into the house without me knowing and I about broke my face when I stepped on it and Smelly Cat has spread cat litter ALL OVER my living room furniture yet again?  I'm fine

In light of this suggestion that I pried out of my friends to make my blog better, one side of my personality would like to say this, "Thank you.  I love you and I value your opinion.  I would hate to sound trashy and angry."  Then we would hold hands and skip to the park where we would watch fairies playing dodge ball with a ladybug.  The other side of my personality, however, wants to say "fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!"  What is not to like about that word?  It is a wonderfully flexible word that is a noun, an adjective, an adverb and a verb!  Truly, it is the perfect word.  Turn up your volume, try and ignore the typos and go here .  P.S. This is not *work appropriate*.

I am now going to go blow my hot breath on my living room window and draw pictures of butterflies in the hazy condensation.

Love, Peace and Unicorns.


  1. I fist pumping on the back of a train in IoWHa?

  2. I MEANT.......heavens to I fist pumping on the back of a train in IoWHa?!?!?!

  3. coming from one of the friends who thought the f bomb was dropped alot, I laughed out loud at this blog reguardless....