Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Day at my house.

Santa arrived sometime last night to deposit the "big trash truck, big dumpster and the BIG Buzz Wightyear" that Thing 1 had been requesting all month.  He also left and took "Ellis"- our family Elf on the Shelf- back to the North Pole.  Crap.  Now how the hell am I going to get Thing 1 to behave?

After careful consideration, my husband and I have decided to rename Thing 2 "Animal", after the Muppet's character.  Apparently, Santa should have brought him drums because he pounds on everything and hoarsely screams from the back of his throat.  I am going to buy him a red beard and wig and shoot a video.  We will be a YouTube sensation!  Just wait!

We received a phone call from my very generous mother-in-law today.  She asked if her package arrived (indeed, it did) and wondered if I had sent anything.  I told her that I put all my cards in the mail on Christmas Eve.  She said "Oh, well I just wondered...", then she asked if I sent her cookies, like I normally do, to which I sheepishly replied "the cookie making didn't go as planned this year" (as I already informed you all of in this post).  Then she said, "Oh, so you just didn't do Christmas this year?" and instead of whining about how I have had a sinus infection for the last two weeks and still adjusting to my husband working 6 days a week, I said "uh, Merry Christmas!  Honey! Your mother is on the phone!", then I handed him the telephone.  I heard him talking about the fudge that she spent hours baking him.  She is in her 80's and doesn't see well and I am certain that she put a lot of effort into the fudge, which my husband LOVES.  I really don't know how long it takes to make fudge, because I don't like fudge, and why bake something that I don't eat?  As a personality "bonus", I am just not nice enough to take the time and effort to make food I don't care for, even when it is my hubs favorite.  Anyway, I hear my husband start to tell his mother that "Johi doesn't like the fud....."  and I start frantically making the "shut your cake hole now!" motion by slashing my hand across my throat.  I am mouthing "don't tell her that!" to him while doing my best "are you frigging serious?" look. Fer reals?  Unnecessary man!  It's not that I don't like his mother's fudge- I just don't like fudge!  Judas!

Anyway, after watching our children enjoy their Christmas haul, we forced everyone outside for a little family stroll.  As soon as the Red Dog saw the leash, she started freaking out (just like she does every time) and barking at an earsplitting decibel, thus spreading her Christmas joy about the prospect of a walk throughout our entire neighborhood.  We got about 15 minutes out when the whining started from Thing 1 and returned home, were I prepared Chicken Parm for lunch and threw a batch of chili in the crockpot for dinner.  What says Christmas dinner better than chili?  I certainly can't think of  anything- plus I made it with venison.  I forgot to ask my parents, who gave us the meat, if it was the same offering as our family Christmas dinner

I am looking forward to a low key day of napping, laundry (of course) and my sweatpants. 
Merry Christmas to all of you and Happy Birthday Baby Jesus! (Thing 1 led us in singing him "Happy Birthday" last night because I had a candle on the table for Christmas Eve dinner- his idea and very sweet.  Sometimes I do get it right.)

Spread some love around today!

Thing 1, mentally preparing his list of demands for Santa.

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